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Friday, September 18, 2009

Everlasting Love

DISCLAIMER : The characters and the plot used here are completely fictional. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited

I was initiated by the 'Lost Love Specialist' Benny, to give a break for my 55 Fictions and write a long Fiction. So I attempted writing this story.


I was sitting on the sand and watching the waves hitting the shore. "It has been 4 long years now", I thought "A lot of things have happened in my life ". The waves were bringing back my old memories. I still remember how I met a guy with the name Rohit in this place. I usually hit the beach on weekends to forget loneliness after my friends got scattered all over India after school. Since then I could not find a circle of friends as I had in School. I usually see him sitting alone on the sands and viewing the waves. There is a saying, "Birds of same feather flock together ". I had never accepted this saying until I saw him.

Days went on.. Soon my eyes started to search for him every time I came to the beach. Slowly I felt some peculiar chemical reactions within me. The following weekend I didn't to go to the beach as all my friends had planned for a reunion. Even though I was with my friends I could sense something was not at its place. Does it have to do anything with him? I questioned myself but my heart failed to answer my questions. Next weekend when I went to the beach my eyes didn't search for him instead I was just admiring the beautiful waves. Waving its hands for me and wishing a great weekend, Until I heard a voice, "Seems you didn't turn up last weekend?", I just turned and noticed that, it was Rohit saying that. Those were the first words he spoke to me. I never knew I was noticed by him all these days. Words failed to come out of my mouth. "By The Way I am Rohit ", were the next few words which brought me back to my senses. "Hi I am Shwetha. Glad to meet you!". I greeted him with a smile. "Mind If I sit here ", he asked me tentatively, action spoke before words did and even before I could say no my head nodded in opposite way and gave permission for him. He sat there beside me and we spoke. I experienced Einstein's theory of relativity on that day. Hours flew just like seconds. He said that his native is Bengaluru and came to Chennai on a transfer. He told that he was staying with his parents in a house near to the beach.

Time went on and the more we spent time together, friendship grew more between us. We exchanged numbers. Weekend meetings start to become weekdays night phone chatting. Slowly my feeling towards him started to change, I never felt so attracted to a guy before. He was changing my life which was full of loneliness to a more enjoyable and fun filled one. He was working in a MNC, so he was free in the evenings most of the time. He started calling me after his office hours and we spoke for hours and hours. It was only in the weekends that we met each other and spoke in person; otherwise it was only over the phone.

After some days I couldn't speak with Rohit because of my semester exams. During my exam times, I never used my mobile and after my exams got over I checked my mobile it had some 50 odd messages from Rohit. The moment I saw it, I knew he would be very angry on me for not turning up this weekend. I called him a few times and there was no answer from him. I just messaged him about my inability to contact him because of my semesters and was waiting for his reply. That day my eyes failed to see dreams and my heart sensed fear of losing a friend, my bed which was of roses since the day I started to speak to Rohit, became thorns to me.

The next weekend, fate had different plans for me. I made it to the beach and was sitting there for about an hour, thinking about whether he would turn up or not. After waiting for another 30 odd minutes, I decided to leave and started walking towards my scooter. I saw him in front of me, I went to him and said "Hi am Sorry Rohit, I could not turn up last weekend. Had my exams, I guess you can understand", his silence gave me a signal that he was still angry with me! He just went past me and sat on the sand. I had no other option, so I followed his foot steps and sat next to him.

"Okay Rohit, I know are angry on me. I am sorry for not informing you, I guess you can understand in what situation I was in."

His answer was silence. " If he doesn't like to speak to you, then don't disturb him", my mind gave me orders.

"Ok, Rohit I think your silence mean to me that I have to leave now! I don't want to disturb you, am leaving Ro"

I got up with a heavy heart. I took my first step and he broke his silence and said, "Please don't go"

He was depressed. I understood that from his voice. I went near him and sat . I saw the waves, I saw his face and saw those cold eyes and felt he is low-spirited. I went near him and asked, "Rohit, What happened? you seem dull! Did I say something wrong?". He relaxed himself by stretching his arms, and started speaking, "No you didn't tell anything wrong, I couldn't be there without talking to you, Shwetha. You have become so close to me, that I feel you are a part of me."

The moment he finished, a question arose in my mind "Rohit loving me? Isn't it?". I saw those piercing eyes of him and couldn't arrive at a conclusion. "Are you in love with me Rohit?", I asked him directly by looking into those eyes. He looked away from me and told "I don't know Shwe, but I have never missed anyone like I have missed you in this time". Words failed to come out from both of us. We returned home questioning ourselves , "Are we in love?"

The night was long and my eyes failed to draw curtains. Suddenly I saw my mobile blaring . It was him. I controlled all my emotions and picked up the call with my trembling hands.

"Hey Hi, Tell me Rohit"

There was silence, I could hear his hard breaths.

"Hello, anyone there?"

"Sorry to disturb you Shwetha. Thought you would be sleeping!"

"That's fine, Had some work. Going to hit my sack! Any problem Rohit!?"

"No, not at all.. just thought of speaking to you!"

"Oh ok, tell me.."

"Shwetha, Can I ask you a question? "

"Go on Ro"

"What would be your decision if I say 'I am in love with you'?"

I was caught on the thoughts. "Does he really meant what he said? I know I am not that attractive but he has those killer looks"

"Shwe, You there?"

"Yeah, Yeah.. I am very well here"

"Did I ask anything wrong?"


I came to my senses and told him my decision. "I too love you Ro!". The next moment, I only heard sounds of joy and cry; I felt his happiness in that cry, I felt his love for me that day. The days that followed were pleasant and the most unforgettable days in my life. Everything around me looked beautiful. I was experiencing the phrase "When love is in your heart, everything around you will appear beautiful than ever". We shared happiness, sorrows, and had little fights which made the bonding between us stronger.

Suddenly one day Rohit approached me in my college and asked me to accompany him. I told my friends to give proxy for me and went out of the college. He parked his bike outside a magnificent house. I asked, "Hey Ro, what you are upto?". He placed his finger in my mouth and asked me to keep mum till entering the house. On entering the house, the biggest shock of my life was waiting for me. Rohit's mom was standing in the porch and smiling at me. I saw Rohit smiling at me and he introduced me to his mom. Both our parents accepted our love and we planned our marriage after Rohit's Onsite project. We were the happiest couple living on this planet.

The life clock's pendulum doesn't wish me to be in the happier side always. The day came when Rohit has to leave the country to go to France on a 45 day trip. We reached the airport and sensing the need of privacy our parents left us alone. He looked deeply into my eyes and said, "I Love you" and kissed me. When the announcement came he waved goodbye to all of us, but his eyes were trailing me. 45 days went just like that and he called me from France and asked me to come to airport to receive him. We were waiting in the airport, when the announcement came, "We are deeply regretting to say that, the Flight which is due to arrive from France,crashed Mid-air and all the passengers are reported dead. A navy squad is employed there for searching the dead bodies. Our deepest condolences to the kith and kin". I felt the world around me shatter, my heart became heavy. At that moment I wished the ground beneath me to devour me. There was nothing I could do, all things were over. Tears ran down my cheeks and I was shaking uncontrollably.

'Rohit left me and reached God's abode. How he left me alone?'. I walked in the sands with the memories of Rohit; I sat and started to view the waves... for the first time in my life after meeting Rohit everything around me looked gloomier. I felt the waves were calling me towards them. My legs started walking towards the waves without my intention. I heard someone calling "Shwetha, Come here!!". My eyes started to search who was the person?

"Come here, Don't play with the sand". It was some kid's (whose name is same as mine) Mom. But my mom's face flashed before me the instant I saw the kid's mother. I took a decision. I prepared myself to face the facts of my life. I called my Mom and cried for all that had happened. She consoled me. I told her about my decision. At first she never accepted to my decision. I switched off the phone and walked towards my scooter with new thoughts in my mind.

"Mom, See what I have made for you." were the words which brought me back to the present .....

"Yeah, Dear!" ..

"A sand castle for you ma!!"

"Oh that's lovely dear" I said with a smile, looking at my child.

"Come here, Rohit, Let us stand here..."

He came running towards me. I lifted him and kissed him on the forehead.

Rohit, my adopted child. I have started to live my life for him in these 3 years. I took his hand, walked with him and made the waves touch his feet. He was smiling at me.

"Come on Dear, Let's go home!! Grandma will be waiting for us".

I held his hand and we started to walk over the sands. I turned back to watch my footsteps and felt, 'My first love was Rohit, My last love will be Rohit too'. I walked towards my car holding my last love's hand.

Love may not always exist in people who get a chance to live together…
But… it always exists in people who are no longer together…


Do comment on my First attempt.

With Love,

Image Courtesy : GOOGLE IMAGES


Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

this short story is osssum...simply speechless...

Wow...the way you have written is simply brilliant!!!

And don't lie, this cannot be a first attempt... you are a professional!!!

Shruti said...

Am really really happy that my story is good!
""the way you have written is simply brilliant""
Thanks, am blushin u know

""you are a professional""
Migh! Benny must be happy to hear this!

Aditya said...

This is frigging awesome!

Thats one romantic story i will remember for a long time. wow wow!!

Shruti said...

""Thats one romantic story i will remember for a long time""
That's an honour for me! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I am speechless...

Shruti said...

Thank you!
I made you speechless eh?!

soin said...

subtlitiy stylela irundhalum storyla illa..bit stereo type to name the kid rohit and all that.. decent one..but i guess you can write much

Rohini Prasanth said...

Hi shruti.. Now I know why Sreya speaks so highly of you :) I wonder why I haven't dropped by your blog till now..well..better late than never..

When I first saw 'Ro' I was surprised at the coincidence - my close friends call me Ro too. Turns out your Ro is a guy named Rohit. LOL!.. the story became more interesting with the twist in the nickname, atleast for me :)

Sweet story.. A brilliant first attempt. You should certainly write more.

SG said...

Excellent short story. First timer? Come on.

Anonymous said...

Really speechless are an expert at story telling.. :O I am dumbfounded.. a very touching love story.. At sometime, I started thinking is it your real story? :P It was that much realistic.. write more such stories.. Btw check out my blog for a geeky post :D

Anonymous said...

Not seems like that it's your first attempt.Awesome..
really a nice story..
Keep it up

Bharathi said...

very nice narration and I liked the story. I didnt take a break while reading. And thats a complement :-)

Benny said...

Din't I tell u that u hav the potential to go that extra mile and achieve excellence :) Happy that u proved me right! Sure u can improve from here on.. gud luck Shruthi..

An Ordinary Gal said...

really awesome, loved it so much dear :)

An Ordinary Gal said...

"Love may not always exist in people who get a chance to live together…
But… it always exists in people who are no longer together…"

I just love this line :)

Shruti said...

to err is human..
This is my first time in writing a story!
So surely i will improve next time :)

Thank you so much!

Toon India said...

awesome story..loved the last line!!

Shruti said...

Hi Ro ;) :)
Welcome to my blog!
yes sreya speaks so much of me, but i was wondering whether am worth the praise!
But thanks for your compliments girl!
Seems i could have wrote the girl's name as Rohini too! You could have had a close association :)

Shruti said...

yes, believe me...
Am a first timer :)

Thanks for your compliment!

Shruti said...

hey girl... This ain't my real story.. just imagination :)
Its a real compliment that it made you think that way!!
Thank you so much for your compliments :)

Will check your post :)

Shruti said...

""Not seems like that it's your first attempt.Awesome""
Thank you so much yaar!! :)

vEnKy said...

i had to say it is a well written story. though it had a pretty cliched ending.

I think you could you used that sand castle that the child built in summing up her life. It all takes just a single wave to wash out the castle, thats what exactly happened to her.

How is that for analogy eh?

thumbs up!! for this post

Shruti said...

Thank you so much :)
""I didn't take a break while reading. And that's a complement""
Yes i know! Getting such a compliment from you makes me really happy!!
It is really a compliment!
thanks for the honor

Shruti said...

Its because of the confidence you had in my writing..
Thank you so much benny!!
Thanks for your wishes too!

Shruti said...

@Ordinary Girl
Thank you sooo muchh!!

Shruti said...

@Ordinary Girl
yes i know! I too loved it while writing!

Shruti said...

@Toon India
Welcome to my blog!
""awesome story..loved the last line""
Thank you so much!

Shruti said...

hi da :)
Hey i too thought the same about the sand castle! Good interpretation man!!

""thumbs up!! for this post""
Thank you!

Yellow Tulip said...

u made me cry:(..excellent write:)..i'm jus speechless:)...too good..

Neha said...

I had tears in my eyes while reading it trust me, as this one is very close to my life's real brought back the fond memories...thank you..

Shruti said...

@Yellow tulip
Am sorry :(
But its another part of life!

Thank you!

Shruti said...

Close to real life incidents?
Very sorry for you girl!
But you made it successful without him na? There lies the spirit!

Thank you so much :)

Indian Pundit said...

Wow......Shruti has done an amazing

The Queen of 55 word fiction now wants to be the The Queen of

Best of luck yaar.

Now i will read this story

Then comment again

Shruti said...

heheheh :)
""The Queen of 55 word fiction now wants to be the The Queen of Fiction""

You stil didn't read the story eh?
Read it and tel me how it is!
Waiting for your comments!

Indian Pundit said...

Central theme of this story is just brilliant.Well thought out too.

Very good first attempt.

But just a little 'problem':-

You wrote:
Time went on and the more we spent time together, friendship grew more between us. We exchanged numbers. Weekend meetings start to become weekdays night phone chatting. Slowly my feeling towards him started to change, I never felt so attracted to a guy before

That means both Shwetha and rohit are very close friends by now.

Now u wrote:
After some days I couldn't speak with Rohit because of my semester exams. During my exam times, I never used my mobile and after my exams got over I checked my mobile it had some 50 odd messages from Rohit.

How come Shwetha DID NOT inform Rohit about her exams? After all He is her very good friend.
Thats very odd.

Anyways, well done.


Shruti said...

Thank you!
I expected this question from you and you asked it!! :)
They spoke about everything but not regarding his office and her studies. They wanted to be a different sect of friends!

Indian Pundit said...

They spoke about everything but not regarding his office and her studies.

One of the very first questions that two unknown people ask to each other are exactly these.

Its all about PROVIDING INFORMATION in order to ensure that other person is not waiting for u.

Cheers and a great post.

Shruti said...

ofcourse, she knew he is working and he knows she is studying!
Apart from this they dint speak much!
Will improve second time (IF I EVER WRITE A FICTION!)


Shilpa Garg said...

A bit cliched, if I may say that! :P

Some parts of the story, were a bit difficult to comprehend! There were glimpses of brilliance at many a place, though!

A good first attempt! :)

Anonymous said...

Your first attempt? :)

Really liked the story..Nice job Shruti.

Shruti said...

Yes, you can say that :)
I too felt it at many times, i can fix up my mistakes next time :)

Thank you for the honest comment!

Shruti said...

@Kasabian girl
Welcome back girlie :)
Yes its my first attempt!

Thank you!


This is a brilliant write, I enjoyed the read very much, if this is a short story what are your long
Well done much hard work went into writing this. Thank you.


Shruti said...

I started this s a short story, but it became long!!

Thanks for your wishes!

Mustaf said...

The story is such that I hv a long comments to bear with me :)

I have a habit of glimpsing through few comments before hitting the story, so i knew surprises were kept.But the way you broke that news, it literally sent a cold wave through my spine literally. And again the sudden but so sweeet turn at the end..literally believe me no words!!

I said the same thing few days back after reading another fiction and i am saying it again, "I envy those people who writes such stories, I just can't do that". Every time i think of giving it a try, such master pieces i come across that i even don't dare to try:(

Anyway, awesome piece and a big Thanks:)

Shruti said...

Great to see you back :)
Long comments for a long story eh ;)

""And again the sudden but so sweeet turn at the end..literally believe me no words""
This is what every writer would love to hear!
Am happy!!

""Every time i think of giving it a try, such master pieces i come across that i even don't dare to try""
Arey, you give a try and you will be really surprised by your work! Who knows? It can become a masterpiece!!

Thanks for your compliments!

Paritosh said...


I love the theme and the centerplot of the story. Only that I would have loved if the kid Rohit was their biological kid, a twist in the tale (bollywood of the 70's style) ;).

However, I feel the story needs a rewrite and tighter editing. The eternal grumbler (if that is an adjective) that I am, I can be a very PIA reader. Sorry for that.


Shruti said...

Glad that you liked it!
Even i thought that it needs many changes.. But since this is my first attempt, i neva did tat!!

PIA readers gives the honest comments and helps in improving my language!

welcome to my blog!

Ekam said...

Awesome yaar ... I loved it. Very touching. I would love to see more of such stories from you..

BK Chowla said...

It is a beautiful story.I must say that it has depth and the flow which will any one read it instead of going through it.It is superb.My best compliments.

Shruti said...

Hi girlie :)
""I would love to see more of such stories from you""
Lets see if something else strikes my mind!

Shruti said...

@Chowla ji
Thank you for your best compliments!
Am honored!

HaRy!! said...

snif snif snif.... nala made me emotional in office :( nalathuke ila po!! nee, Benny, elarum enga tha intha mathiri yosipingalo...ore sogams of India....neverthless...sorrow has a deeper impact don't they? Last part of Rohit adoption is something which i never expected! spellbound and yu off with a sixer of first ball...thats all i can say!! take care!!! kalakita pa!


Shruti said...

bedsheet yedhachum venuma?? Romba feel panreye!!
NAnum bennyuma?? hehhee :P
avan dan yezhudha sonadhe...
Yen Guru :P

""sorrow has a deeper impact ""
Obviously they are the other part of life

Sixer with first ball?? Wish i have the same experience like yuvi off broad!! (All are sixer's)

Guria said...

Girl, I am sorry! :(
I have been trying to wrap up things before the Durga Pujas, hence is a bit tied up! I am more sorry than you are that I'm unable to visit many blogs! :P

As for the story: Hey, it's a good first attempt but keep the people guessing. This story is really nice but you are a better narrator.

But end of story: I liked it! :D

Love. ^_^

Anu...:) said...

"Love may not always exist in people who get a chance to live together…
But… it always exists in people who are no longer together…"

Very true.
Awesome story...hope to see more! :)

Sat_hi_sh said...

"True love never ends in marriage"

Your story clearly depicts that :)
Commenable first attempt yaar:)

keep blogging :)

Shruti said...

Oh Busy with pooja stuffs eh?!
Even am doing that!
Its Okay girl :)

Yes wanna do that in my next attempt!
'Better narrator' eh?!
Thanks :)

Shruti said...

Yes hope i will write more of this sort!


Shruti said...

true love never ends in marr!
Very true :)

Thanks yaar!

Singh Amit said...

So mesmerizing and touching...
I loved the way u wrote the story....
"My first love was Rohit, My last love will be Rohit too"
This is what I feel essence of celestial love...
Love which is beyond classifications and levels....... :)
Keep writing...
Cheers Dear!!

HaRy!! said...

Hey Shruti... yur story is very very popular here..i sent it to everyone and they asked me.."Yaru da mache intha story" , they didnt comment but...kalakal pa :)! I also sent to some of the english colleagues here...and they said " Enchanted :)" Yu hav lotsa fans now !! :)!! God bless yu! thrishti sutthi podu :)

Shruti said...

""I loved the way u wrote the story""
Aahh!! Thanks re :)
am glad atleast you appreciated that line...yes!!Celestial love's essence...
Thanks amit!

Shruti said...

am completely overwhelmed and thank you so much for the recognition you gave me!!

Angendhu varappo periya thrishti poosinikkai vaangindu va!! :P

Rajalakshmi Umapathy said...

Hey shruthi, something amazing da.. I loved the way you put it. Cute love. first and last love..

Shruti said...

Thanks Raji!
Yes the first love and the last love is same for this girl!!
Thanks for dropping by!

Kshitij said...

I read it... even before I commented on the other one. I liked it... but am usually so scared of death... and was affected a bit by the Air France thing.. so did not feel like commenting :)

But the story was good enough to make me read till the end... despite being not of the subject of my interest :)

I love crazy humor... what people generally refer to as bakwaas. I wish you could understand Hindi... just to gauge the crazy man you're talking to.

I see a lot of traffic here.. nice! I am a little envy... but hey.. :)

Btw.. i did point out a couple of posts that were totally in English...for you to read..

Even I am online most of the time. New to this blogging and loving it.

Shruti said...

Ahh! You don like sad endings eh?
Life itself is a mix of happy and sad stuffs churning out differently!!
I know Hindi to some extent, arey bhakwas bhand kar (Courtesy :9XM) :P

Envy of me eh?! Nice!
Will surely read your posts!

Thanks for dropping by!

Anonymous said...

really its ur first attempt??

Your narration is really brilliant..:D

By the evidence of my Moist eyes i certainly say that you have done a excellent job..!

Keep writing more.:)

Shruti said...

Yes really its my first attempt!!

""By the evidence of my Moist eyes i certainly say that you have done a excellent job""
Yes after reading this comment of yours i feel the same!

RAM said...

Wonderful wonderful wonderful. Just cant get more adjectives to describe the story.Simply touched my heart and i was really moved. Cant believe that it is your first attempt.

Keep writing shruthi

Sapphire said...

It's such a nice story you wrote - and you told it so beautifully!! I wish the ending had been happier though :P

srividya said...

fantastic fiction!!awesome saying at the end..

srividya said...

hey...i know the reason behind the name 'rohit':p

Being Pramoda... said...

**Love may not always exist in people who get a chance to live together, but it always exists in people who are no longer together

HI Shruti,
A very well matured thoughts from u ..i'm proud of ur gesture at ur characters...

her decision was heart touching and magnificently daring and full of love .. i admired her character...

thanks for the story ..and u have expressed it beautifully..keep it up :)

Indian Pundit said...

"Everlasting Love"

Write a story on everlasting hate!

Shruti said...

Completely moved eh?!
Then the story is good!!
Thanks Ram

Shruti said...

Welcome to my space re!!
""you told it so beautifully""
Thanks yaar!

happy ending!?
you will get happier at this ending in a different way! :)

Shruti said...

Thanks da :)

Shruti said...

Yenakku theriyum ne kandu piduchuduvenu!! Velila solli manatha vangidatha!

Shruti said...

Hi da :)
""her decision was heart touching and magnificently daring and full of love""
I had imagined myself in that situation and wrote it!
Thanks for your hearty wishes!

Shruti said...

Can Hate be everlasting?

Prads said...

nice work shurthi...
super feel
is rohit is real??


Shruti said...

Read the disclaimer!
Thanks :)
U wrote my 1500th comment!

pra said...

I did not visited the blog world for 2 days and missed this nice story! Sorry for late Shruti.
I loved the end twist. It is a brillient story for the first attempt.writting a story as 'self narration' is very difficult task and you have done it nicely!

Shruti said...

So a grand welcome to the blogosphere :)
You are the only one who noticed this as a self narration!

Thanks pra :)

Karthik Murali said...

doesnt look like fiction at all........
brilliant :)

Shruti said...

Thanks :)

The Aspirant said...

well, if dis is first attempt, den i think u give more tym on it coz it ws jst superb.......especially d closing ws outstanding, different.....

great wrk

Shruti said...

@The Aspirant
Really! So many thanks to you and i will just carry on writing short stories!

ScarletTd1ar1es said...

that was pathetic. why do all sweet things end bitterly. :(

must say that was well written. u etched the emotion really well. touchy.

Shruti said...

We cant always expect "And they lived happily!"

Thank you so much yaar!

Praveen Kurra said...

One word - Excellent!
Plus points: Readability, Imagination, Narrative style and Plot.

Minus - Some sentences look like a translation from Tamil or Telugu. If you don't read much in your native language, then it must be your original. In that case, my special appreciation.

"I felt the world around me shatter, my heart became heavy. At that moment I wished the ground beneath me to devour me" (these are stereotyped sentences..try expressing in a different way)

One more thing: At one point, I felt you followed Gonzo journalism style in writing this.

Keep it up..

Shruti said...

Thanks a lot after for your detailed comment after reading my posts!!

Anonymous said...

Simply superb Shruti!!!

This is one story which can be told in a couple of lines... But the way you narrated.... awesome...

And the theme 'adoption'... noblest... It adds a million beuty to this story... Many times I think that if everyone adopt an orphan, then there wont be any category of ppl by the name orphan...

Wish I do adopt one in my life... And pray the almighty to give me the blessing to do it...

Shruti said...

What a noble thought you have! Hope God gives you the chance of adapting a child!!
Awesome bala, thanks :)

prathap said...

shruthi fantastic.............really toooo

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