Search This Blog

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

55 Fiction - #13


Here is my next 55 Fiction.

Those who are new to this concept, understand what is 55Fiction!? 55 Fiction is a form of micro fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.Most 55 Fiction works are dramatized so as to get the effect in limited time.

THE MISSION

Everything was set. Darkness facilitated him. The door creaked and he heard her footsteps. He geared up for his mission. He yelled after a cockroach bit him. That moment, the trigger clicked and he detected the trickling of blood from his chest. He muttered, "I shouldn't have planned a surprise party for a cop."



Sorry for giving a tragic end yet again. Next time will write a different genre.

Hope you liked this. Please do comment on this 55 fiction attempt!

With Love,






Image Courtesy : Google Images

86 comments:

R S V said...

A bit obscure but I think I got it....
the man had planned a surprise for the woman and she, since was a cop, shot him dead instead, not realising the truth.....
am I correct...

u wrote it well...
its tough to imbibe emotions with so few words but u were somehow successful....

Being Pramoda... said...

Ayyooo...:(..soo sad ..

But very nicely expressed ..Thanks for this shruti ..:)

Shruti said...

@RSV
you hit the bulls eye!
you decoded it correctly and call it obscure :O

Somehow successful eh?
Thanks re!

Shruti said...

@Prams
""very nicely expressed""
Thanks a ton :)

Mustaf said...

I thought moral of the story was "Surprise kept for others sometime surprise you only"!! Didn't realize it was "she" who was a cop,until i read the comment. So thanks both to the author and the commentor :)

Shruti said...

@Mustaf
OMG!!
I couldn't make myself clear with this 55Fiction!
Am sorry!!

Neha said...

this is the reason I hate surprises...bol do yaar jo bhi plan hai wo...why take a chance?

nice write up, and keep it ths way only...I love tragic climax :D

Vinz said...

Got confused a bit though...
Why did the cop shoot...

:)

waise, therez no questions asked in fiction..i know ..i know..!!

was blog hopping and ended up here..!!

:)

Sourav !!! said...

I like reading comments more thn the post .. so every pun intended to the ONE who didn't understand this, go back to nursery rhymes ! ;) LOL

Attempt, was it ... ? 55 or even less, I know now, you can express your mind in 10 words ! :)

And yeah you gave me a lesson for life .. cockroaches and cops (read:woman) shouldn't be surprised, one bites and the other one kills ! :P

Mustaf said...

You do not need to be sorry, I might be a dumb enough!!:)

Guria said...

I think this is awesome! :D

Where is the tragedy? Think like the bullet nipping his shoulder!

I think it is funny! After all no one actually died! lol...

P.S. you can also call me the maverick girl! lol...

Singh Amit said...

I enjoyed it ... :)

very nicely written ...:)

Cheers!!

Anoop said...

i dint understan anythin... :(
but i liked the concept 55 fiction. m new to tat.. :D
u made this concept or wat??

haf fun
Anoop

Sat_hi_sh said...

lolz i think he learnt the perils of surprise in a harsh way :)

nalla 55-ficiton work madam :)
try some 55-ficition for mamiyar & marumagal :D


anyways was just fine tuning my post the other day adan slept really late...


neengalum night birdie eh ????

HaRy!! said...

was it tamil nadu police....if it was the case then he wud have escaped, considering they never shoot the target :)! neeyum unoda karpanayum :)

HaRy

lostworld said...

Hiiii!!

I've been busy but here I am..
Great writing .. :) Liked this story.
Yes, some happy stories next please..

Yellow Tulip said...

i dont know i kind of felt good:)..he he..:)...enjoyed reading it:)..nice twist:)

Shruti said...

@Neha
you are a tragic lover eh?!
Most of my works are like that!!

hehehe!!
:P

Shruti said...

@Vinz
Welcome to my blog yaar :)
Confused eh?!
:O

U read rahul's comment,he would have explained!!

U can ask questions and i will try to reply them :)

Keep Visiting!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

Very well written with a twist.

Yvonne.

Shruti said...

@Sourav
Welcome back to my blog after a long time :)
""who didn't understand this, go back to nursery rhymes""
Oh migh!! :P

""I know now, you can express your mind in 10 words""
Heheeh... can i?? ;)

Shruti said...

@Mustaf
I wanna write things in a way which everyone can understand!
But it wasn't like what i thought!

Shruti said...

@Guria
Tragedy becomes funny only for a misfit girl and you proved it! ;)

Shruti said...

@Amit
You enjoyed it eh?
Am really glad about it!

Shruti said...

@Anoop
""i dint understan anythin""
Oh my god!
See the backdrop of this story is, like rahul penned in comments : the man had planned a surprise for the woman and she, since was a cop, shot him dead instead, not realising the truth

I dint make this concept. I took up a already existing concept and started writing!

Shruti said...

@Sathish
aama, uyire poiruthu!! :P

Maamiyar marumagal ah!!
:P
Night birdie num sollalam, raa pisasu num sollalam!

Shruti said...

@hary
Illa, scotland yard police!
Adan vecha kuri thapala :)

""neeyum unoda karpanayum""
Avlo mosama irukka :(

Shruti said...

@Lostworld
Welcome back!!!
Thanks and surely next time will write happy endings!

Shruti said...

@Yellow tulip!
You enjoyed it eh!
Wow, thank you!!

Shruti said...

@yvonne
thank you!!

Prads said...

Nice cop story hehehee
good keep rocking
Regards,
Prasee

Shruti said...

@Prasee
Thanks :)

Anu...:) said...

Nice one.It was strangely humorous.:P

"Next time will write a different genre."
Awaiting your next post :P


Btw do check out my new post! :)

vEnKy said...

Subtleness irukkalam ana ivalo va. Ana cocroach bite panni trigger click aage he shot himself ellam too over.

Indian Pundit said...

Hahahaha......he was "surprised" by the cockroach!!!!

Then got "surprised" by the bullet.

Great one.

Queen rulz.

Ekam said...

I enjoyed it. But I had to read it twice. I swear I hadn't read Rahul's comment by then :D
So I don't need to go back to nursery :D

Shruti said...

@Anu
hehehe!!
don't expect too much from me re!!
Thanks!

Will check ma :)

Shruti said...

@Venky
avane shoot panikala!
See,a man organises a surprise party for this gal who s a cop. EVerything was set in dark! The moment cockroach bit him and the gal opens door happens simultaneously! She suspects him 2 b a crimanl in dark and she shoots him!!
this s the story!

Shruti said...

@IP
Queen rules eh?!
Heheh :P
Thank you!

Shruti said...

@Ekam
Oh migh!
you enjoed it eh! Thanks a ton! So u need not goto nursery :P

vEnKy said...

@ Shruthi

Beware of copraoches hehehe

Shruti said...

@Venky
Un creativity ku alave illama pochu!!
BTW,copraoches was good!!

vEnKy said...

Actually i spelled wrong it is Coproaches. hehehe

Shilpa said...

Hmmm...
moral of the story : if your wife's a cop,don't try to surprise her!!!


shilpa

√♪נ汉Ψ said...

Every time when I read your 55Fiction it's make me more big fan of your writing. Very Humrous story.
Keep it up madam...
:)

chetan said...

I think you are facinated by this 55 fiction, but yes no doubt all are good, including this one

Paritosh said...

What a tragedy!!

Shruti said...

@Venky
Sebba, porum pa :)

Shruti said...

@Shilpa
""if your wife's a cop,don't try to surprise her!""
Lolzz :P

Shruti said...

@Vijay
""when I read your 55Fiction it's make me more big fan of your writing""
Hey really am sooo happy to learn about it!

Am not so old :O
Don't cal me madam, jus cal me shruti!

Thanks :)

Shruti said...

@Chetan
it is true that i like writing 55Fcition!

""no doubt all are good, including this one""
Thanks a ton!

Shruti said...

@Paritosh
Yes it is! But many find it to be comical!

vEnKy said...

@ Vijay

Buddy this comedy story tradegy man, lives sorry a life was lost.

@ Shruthi

sorry for hacking you comment reply. i like doing it so much ;)

Shruti said...

@Venky
Idhellam oru polappa!
Aiyo aiyo!

vEnKy said...

@Shruthi

hey one last time ok last time in this comment section, I swear

@ Vijay

Buddy how did you to do that fancy thingy for your it looks good chap.

Shruti said...

@Venky
ada pavi! Idha chat section ah maathitaye!
Adhu character map la poi pananum!
Start-->Programs-->Accessories--->System tools--->Character map!

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Your twist in tales has improved a lot dear...and hey..yeah actually he should have avoided cops totally if he was any wiser...:D

Shruti said...

@Sid
my twists have improved eh!!
thanks siddhu!

Sourav !!! said...

Some people are taking my suggestion to go back to nursery rhymes pretty seriously ! ;)

@Ekam .. *sigh* you are promoted to Class I ! :P

@Shruti .. yes, you can !

R S V said...

hey Shruti
do help me out yaar.
does the comment system really giving a lot of problems??
should I change it?

RSV

evanescentthoughts said...

Good one again girl! hehe.. poor guy giving surprises to a cop :))

Shruti said...

@Sourav
Will try next time :P

Shruti said...

@RSV
Yes yaar!!
I am not able to post the comment!! :(

Shruti said...

@Avada
Hehehehe :P
Thanks :)

Makk said...

well...I am new this concept called 55, have seen few.

This is one is cold.. I would say!!

Bharathi said...

very nice. i liked it. it had an element of surprise

Being Pramoda... said...

HI Shruti,

This is to inform u that u have been awarded at my blog..plz collect the same and make me happy :)

Shruti said...

@Makk
Welcome to this blog!
Thanks a ton and glad that you liked it!!
Keep visiting!

Shruti said...

@Prams
Yep sure :)
Thanks a ton!

Shruti said...

@Bharathi
Bharathi liked my 55Fiction!!
Yipeeee!!!
Thanks!

Srivatsan said...

Nice one!

but Konjam logic idikudhu!

Shruti said...

@Srivatsan
Logic idikartha?!
Yenga? Idikartha thallitu paru, kanakku sari ah irukkum

Swaram said...

Ohhh :( U r too gud with the 55-ers though!

Shruti said...

@Swaram
Thanks!

Musings of a lonely traveler said...

Shruti! a black comedy (guess this is your first one of this genre). Got to re-read to makeout (please don't send me to nursary).

Good read Shruti :)

Shruti said...

@Musings
Yes you guessed it right!! Don't goto nursery! Learn from ur kid :P

Shankar said...

DO cockroaches bite?

Shruti said...

@Shankz
Yes they bite :)

balasrini said...

Gud one!

Thriller kind of fiction... Glad that you write in all genres...

Shruti said...

@Bala
Thanks! Trying in different genre is the best part of a writer! What say!?

balasrini said...

Nah!!! It's the part of a best writer!!! So you are a best writer!!!

Shruti said...

@Bala
Is it so?!
Thanks bala :)

balasrini said...

Yes Shruti! I mean it!

Shruti said...

@Bala
Am flattered!!

balasrini said...

I just said the truth... not for flattering you... :-)

Shruti said...

@Bala
Nandri :)

  © Hits and Misses 2009-2010   © Original Design by Lena Toews   © Edited Design by Leo