Hi friends!!
After a esthetic post about "our country", am here with another 55 fiction! This fire of '55 Fiction' has caught up soon and every blog am coming across has a line - 55 Fiction, my first attempt!! But successfully this is my fifth post in 55 fiction! Am so happy for the "Beautiful Blogger" Award i received from Shankz for these 55 fiction's!
55 Fiction is a form of micro fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.Most 55 Fiction works are dramatized so as to get the effect in limited time.
Here comes my 55 Fiction.....
STILL NIGHT
It was a cold,tempestuous night.....
He was in an urge to wrap up things..
He checked the list, holding the names of murderee's!!!
'Five down, One more to go'....
He saw VICTIM # 6!!! A Girl!!
He shot her in temple with his gun!!!!!!
She died writhing in pain....
He was beaming.....
Monitor blinked : Game Over!
Hope you liked this one.. Please do comment on this 55 fiction attempt of mine..
With Love,
Image Courtesy : GOOGLE Images
81 comments:
loved the twist in the end.
Great one.
Improving all the time.
That was kool ;)
@IP
Thanks for your appreciation!
@Sri Abaie
Welcome to my blog!
Thanks for your comment!
Hey Shruti..nice attempt. When I started reading..I thought this would be another dark story with a dark ending.. but then you played the last part beautifully. Liked the twist :)
Thanks for visiting yet again lady. When I read that you used the word "re"..I smiled..I so often use this. :)
P.S And now I can see that I can comment using my wordpress id. :)
wowwwwwwww
nice suspense da...
wen i read first 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be moral story.
wen i read next 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be some murder kinda stuff
wen i read next 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be story to hail woman
wen i read last lines , i came to kwn its GAME "Counter strike"
Regards,
Prasee
A frank comment from my end!!!! More than the post I liked the way of presenting/writing it!!!! Gud presentation skills I shud say
And congrats for your first award! Celebration time. :)
Would love your feedback on this post
http://sumeetshah.blogspot.com/2009/06/for-all-those-who-are-in-hunt-of-their.html
I thought its gonna be a spine chilling fiction.. But atlast, it was really very cool.. Great :)
hey..it was good... nice one...except..
the end..i dont know why...but I didnt like the ending......
You didn't give the ending away, but you could change the first sentence and make it into a scene, I mean you could have written a tad more on murder!
Liked this a straight 9/10!
This is solid improvement!
Cheers!
hahaha! cool! brilliant! i was beginning to hate him until i read the last line!!!
keep writing.
p.s.: i write 55s also. have look sometime. you might like the post "sin of the midnight"
well its good.but like all 55 you always know the last line is the twist or something like that..free
very interesting
Twist was superb..
gr8 improvement.. :)
cheers!!
Good twist!!
Cheers :)
@Thoughtworld
welcome again to my space!!
i know many will think the same way!
GLAD THAT YOU LIKED THE ENDING!!
're' is a common term that i use everywher!!
Thanks for your compliments!!
@Sumeet..
:)
thank you so much...
@prasee
hey thanks buddy...
thanks for your constant encouragement!
Glad that you liked this 55Fiction!!
@savi
thanks for the visit!
Thanks for your comments too!!
@PAWAN
wow!!
am sooo happy!!
scored 9/10!!!
thanks and surely wil discuss more drama in my next 55F!
Hey good one!
Gaming framed very nicely. Looks so real! :)
Shashank
@shankz
thanks for the visit!!
i really don't know what to reply!
maybe next time i can write something differnt which lives upto all of your expectations!
@Abhishek
thanks for the visit!!
am happy that you liked this post of mine!!
will surely check your posts!
@Soin
thanks for your comment!
keep visiting!
@Amit
:)
thanks!
and its a pleasure watching many liked ths!
@shilpa
thanks for the visit
@shashank
thank you so much re!
haha...good one! but i was wondering how anyone would writher in pain when shot in the temple! Then read the last line :)
Nice one Shruti...the end was really good:)
Shruti!
In boxing, the trainers would say the Boxers, "Always finish with a punch". You got it right, Shruti. Good read :)
That was an intelligent one ! the end of course !!!
@Mon
thanks for the visit...
am happy that you liked them!
keep visiting!
@kasbian girl...
hey gal thank you!!
@mohammed
thankz baai!!
am really happy for your comments :)
@dmanji
welcome to my blog!!
Glad that you liked them!
keep visiting!
A good twist in the end. enjoyed the post very much.
Take care.
Yvonne.
@yvonne
welcome again :)
thank you and am happy that you enjoyed this post!
That's cool! No wonder Shankar says you are queen of 55 fiction.I totally agree with him! two :55 fictions in 3 days?! It took me 3 days to write first one!:-)
@Pra
hey am blushing yaar!! It happens just like that!!
And glad that you are here,commenting on my scribblings!
I was expecting something else, but you really chilled me up with videogame..
i liked it
@cm
welcome to my blog!
Glad that you liked it!
wow..thats some damn good fiction! yu ought to write a book of 55 fictions! :) cya..keep visitin
H a R y
@hary
welcome to my blog!!
Thanks for your wondrous comments!
glad that you liked t!!
Btw,will think about writing a book of 55 Fictions soon :D
keep visiting!
Good one again. The twist is quite interesting.
wow!! ur doing a gr8 job.... i liked the finishing touch.. it was kool.......
@Bharathi
Thank you so much for the comment!
@sreejith
hey sreejith,
welcome to my blog!!
Atlast visited... thanks for your valuable comments!!
Cool story. Good twist. You have got the hang of 55Fiction! Envy you, not succeeded so far myself.
In the best traditions of those who can't do themselves and so become critics, I submit... ;-)
/* boring stuff beginz...
Fewer exclamation marks please, unless you intended the punctuation to reflect the talk-style of today's young uns.
'Victims' would do better than a derived word, IMHO.
...endz zee boring stuff! */
Light hearted 55 F ! Goood ! :)
Mr.R
www.gingerchai.com
@thebutterflydiaries
thanks for the visit!
I was thinking why nobody is criticizing this 55fiction!!
thanks and surly will follow these in my next 55fiction!
thanks!!!
@Mr.R
thank you for commenting!!
gr8 da..unexpected ending!!
@Sri
thank you so much da :)
Hi Shruti
Check out my blog
An award is waiting for you.
Cheers
Shruti, do check my blog. I have posted the sequel!
@IP
Thanks re!
@pawan
will surely check yaar!
heh heh heh...
reminds me of GTA...:D
nice post haan...
P.s. GTA is a computer game.:D
@Sid
Thanks for the visit..
Hey! a kewl one. Keep it up.
=)
@shas
thanks yaar!!
A nice one thr.. i thot yt anothr murder n blood 55 fiction.. bt it trnd out 2 b diffrnt :)
Loved the Roald Dahl kind of twist in the end:)
good work!
@Vipul
thanks yar!
Everyone will expect it to be a horrid thing!
Keep visiting!
@calvy
welcome to my blog!
Thanks for your comments!
nice one shruthi, got me by surprise i thought it was some rip off of ghajini hehehe
@venky
hehehehe :D
saw that scene where the villain hit asin and surya before i wrote this post!
Converted it into Video game :P
so i guessed it right. yesssssssss
@venky..
but copyrights reserved with me!!!
:D
Nice ending! LOL....
@pramathesh
Lolzzzz to you too!!
Check out my new post!!!!!!
@sumeet
will check re
You are a good 55-fiction writer.
Enjoyed all 5 of them!
@sreya
hey thanks for the visit!!!
am glad that you enjoyed my writings!
that's cool. I wish i could write one too!
@sundari
thank you!!
Jus try it out!!
hi....good one
you are really different with ur writing
continue ur good work
Cool post!!
Twist with a techie feel!
@Ash
Hey welcome to my blog and thanks a ton for ur appreciation!
@Bala
Hey thanks :)
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