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Monday, August 17, 2009

Fifth Fifty Five Fiction


Hi friends!!

After a esthetic post about "our country", am here with another 55 fiction! This fire of '55 Fiction' has caught up soon and every blog am coming across has a line - 55 Fiction, my first attempt!! But successfully this is my fifth post in 55 fiction! Am so happy for the "Beautiful Blogger" Award i received from Shankz for these 55 fiction's!

55 Fiction is a form of micro fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.Most 55 Fiction works are dramatized so as to get the effect in limited time.

Here comes my 55 Fiction.....

STILL NIGHT

It was a cold,tempestuous night.....

He was in an urge to wrap up things..

He checked the list, holding the names of murderee's!!!

'Five down, One more to go'....

He saw VICTIM # 6!!! A Girl!!

He shot her in temple with his gun!!!!!!

She died writhing in pain....

He was beaming.....

Monitor blinked : Game Over!

smile_shadessmile_regular



Hope you liked this one.. Please do comment on this 55 fiction attempt of mine..

With Love,






Image Courtesy : GOOGLE Images

81 comments:

Indian Pundit said...

loved the twist in the end.

Great one.

Improving all the time.

Sri Abaie said...

That was kool ;)

Shruti said...

@IP
Thanks for your appreciation!

Shruti said...

@Sri Abaie

Welcome to my blog!
Thanks for your comment!

thoughtworld said...

Hey Shruti..nice attempt. When I started reading..I thought this would be another dark story with a dark ending.. but then you played the last part beautifully. Liked the twist :)

Thanks for visiting yet again lady. When I read that you used the word "re"..I smiled..I so often use this. :)

P.S And now I can see that I can comment using my wordpress id. :)

Prads said...

wowwwwwwww

nice suspense da...
wen i read first 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be moral story.

wen i read next 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be some murder kinda stuff

wen i read next 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be story to hail woman

wen i read last lines , i came to kwn its GAME "Counter strike"

Regards,
Prasee

Sumeet.Shah said...

A frank comment from my end!!!! More than the post I liked the way of presenting/writing it!!!! Gud presentation skills I shud say

thoughtworld said...

And congrats for your first award! Celebration time. :)

Sumeet.Shah said...

Would love your feedback on this post

http://sumeetshah.blogspot.com/2009/06/for-all-those-who-are-in-hunt-of-their.html

savitha said...

I thought its gonna be a spine chilling fiction.. But atlast, it was really very cool.. Great :)

Shankar said...

hey..it was good... nice one...except..

the end..i dont know why...but I didnt like the ending......

pawan said...

You didn't give the ending away, but you could change the first sentence and make it into a scene, I mean you could have written a tad more on murder!
Liked this a straight 9/10!

This is solid improvement!

Cheers!

ABHISHEK SiM said...

hahaha! cool! brilliant! i was beginning to hate him until i read the last line!!!

keep writing.

p.s.: i write 55s also. have look sometime. you might like the post "sin of the midnight"

soin said...

well its good.but like all 55 you always know the last line is the twist or something like that..free

Amit414@IT-BHU said...

very interesting

Twist was superb..

gr8 improvement.. :)

cheers!!

Shilpa Garg said...

Good twist!!
Cheers :)

Shruti said...

@Thoughtworld
welcome again to my space!!
i know many will think the same way!
GLAD THAT YOU LIKED THE ENDING!!

're' is a common term that i use everywher!!

Thanks for your compliments!!

Shruti said...

@Sumeet..
:)
thank you so much...

Shruti said...

@prasee
hey thanks buddy...
thanks for your constant encouragement!
Glad that you liked this 55Fiction!!

Shruti said...

@savi
thanks for the visit!
Thanks for your comments too!!

Shruti said...

@PAWAN
wow!!
am sooo happy!!
scored 9/10!!!

thanks and surely wil discuss more drama in my next 55F!

Shashank Shekhar said...

Hey good one!
Gaming framed very nicely. Looks so real! :)

Shashank

Shruti said...

@shankz

thanks for the visit!!

i really don't know what to reply!
maybe next time i can write something differnt which lives upto all of your expectations!

Shruti said...

@Abhishek
thanks for the visit!!
am happy that you liked this post of mine!!

will surely check your posts!

Shruti said...

@Soin
thanks for your comment!

keep visiting!

Shruti said...

@Amit
:)
thanks!
and its a pleasure watching many liked ths!

Shruti said...

@shilpa
thanks for the visit

Shruti said...

@shashank
thank you so much re!

Mon Espace said...

haha...good one! but i was wondering how anyone would writher in pain when shot in the temple! Then read the last line :)

kasabiangirl said...

Nice one Shruti...the end was really good:)

Musings of a lonely traveler said...

Shruti!

In boxing, the trainers would say the Boxers, "Always finish with a punch". You got it right, Shruti. Good read :)

dmanji said...

That was an intelligent one ! the end of course !!!

Shruti said...

@Mon
thanks for the visit...
am happy that you liked them!

keep visiting!

Shruti said...

@kasbian girl...
hey gal thank you!!

Shruti said...

@mohammed
thankz baai!!
am really happy for your comments :)

Shruti said...

@dmanji
welcome to my blog!!
Glad that you liked them!

keep visiting!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

A good twist in the end. enjoyed the post very much.

Take care.

Yvonne.

Shruti said...

@yvonne
welcome again :)
thank you and am happy that you enjoyed this post!

pra said...

That's cool! No wonder Shankar says you are queen of 55 fiction.I totally agree with him! two :55 fictions in 3 days?! It took me 3 days to write first one!:-)

Shruti said...

@Pra
hey am blushing yaar!! It happens just like that!!
And glad that you are here,commenting on my scribblings!

cm said...

I was expecting something else, but you really chilled me up with videogame..
i liked it

Shruti said...

@cm
welcome to my blog!
Glad that you liked it!

HaRy!! said...

wow..thats some damn good fiction! yu ought to write a book of 55 fictions! :) cya..keep visitin

H a R y

Shruti said...

@hary
welcome to my blog!!
Thanks for your wondrous comments!
glad that you liked t!!
Btw,will think about writing a book of 55 Fictions soon :D

keep visiting!

Bharathi said...

Good one again. The twist is quite interesting.

sreeji said...

wow!! ur doing a gr8 job.... i liked the finishing touch.. it was kool.......

Shruti said...

@Bharathi
Thank you so much for the comment!

Shruti said...

@sreejith
hey sreejith,
welcome to my blog!!
Atlast visited... thanks for your valuable comments!!

thebutterflydiaries said...

Cool story. Good twist. You have got the hang of 55Fiction! Envy you, not succeeded so far myself.

In the best traditions of those who can't do themselves and so become critics, I submit... ;-)

/* boring stuff beginz...
Fewer exclamation marks please, unless you intended the punctuation to reflect the talk-style of today's young uns.

'Victims' would do better than a derived word, IMHO.

...endz zee boring stuff! */

Mr said...

Light hearted 55 F ! Goood ! :)

Mr.R
www.gingerchai.com

Shruti said...

@thebutterflydiaries
thanks for the visit!
I was thinking why nobody is criticizing this 55fiction!!

thanks and surly will follow these in my next 55fiction!
thanks!!!

Shruti said...

@Mr.R
thank you for commenting!!

Srividya said...

gr8 da..unexpected ending!!

Shruti said...

@Sri
thank you so much da :)

Indian Pundit said...

Hi Shruti

Check out my blog

An award is waiting for you.

Cheers

pawan said...

Shruti, do check my blog. I have posted the sequel!

Shruti said...

@IP
Thanks re!

Shruti said...

@pawan
will surely check yaar!

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

heh heh heh...

reminds me of GTA...:D

nice post haan...

P.s. GTA is a computer game.:D

Shruti said...

@Sid
Thanks for the visit..

Shas said...

Hey! a kewl one. Keep it up.
=)

Shruti said...

@shas
thanks yaar!!

Vipul Grover said...

A nice one thr.. i thot yt anothr murder n blood 55 fiction.. bt it trnd out 2 b diffrnt :)

calvy said...

Loved the Roald Dahl kind of twist in the end:)
good work!

Shruti said...

@Vipul
thanks yar!
Everyone will expect it to be a horrid thing!

Keep visiting!

Shruti said...

@calvy
welcome to my blog!

Thanks for your comments!

VeNkY said...

nice one shruthi, got me by surprise i thought it was some rip off of ghajini hehehe

Shruti said...

@venky
hehehehe :D
saw that scene where the villain hit asin and surya before i wrote this post!
Converted it into Video game :P

VeNkY said...

so i guessed it right. yesssssssss

Shruti said...

@venky..
but copyrights reserved with me!!!
:D

Mr. Pramathesh Borkotoky said...

Nice ending! LOL....

Shruti said...

@pramathesh
Lolzzzz to you too!!

Sumeet.Shah said...

Check out my new post!!!!!!

Shruti said...

@sumeet
will check re

sreyaghosh said...

You are a good 55-fiction writer.
Enjoyed all 5 of them!

Shruti said...

@sreya
hey thanks for the visit!!!
am glad that you enjoyed my writings!

Sundari Venkatraman said...

that's cool. I wish i could write one too!

Shruti said...

@sundari
thank you!!
Jus try it out!!

ash said...

hi....good one
you are really different with ur writing

continue ur good work

balasrini said...

Cool post!!
Twist with a techie feel!

Shruti said...

@Ash
Hey welcome to my blog and thanks a ton for ur appreciation!

@Bala
Hey thanks :)

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