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Friday, October 30, 2009

This is more than a Story..

This is purely a Fiction. Any resemblance of incidents or characters occuring in this story is purely co-incidental.

Guy's, this would've happened in our life at some point. This is just a post, that kindles all your emotions.
Time and time again, I forgave you. I've forgiven you for things that I swore to myself I'd never forgive someone for... and here you are, still hurting me, and I still forgave you..

"Ever noticed that the people who hurt you the most are the ones you tend to love more", she said as I finished my cup of coffee. Nandini was heartbroken and was madly in love with a boy she met in her college. She was badly hurt because the guy ditched her! She was hurt and demanded answers for some of the very obvious questions of life. She wanted to know why we all fall for someone. Isn’t it unfair on part of the God to first make us fall for someone and then teach us how to forget him? Tell me how can I forget him now? She asked me.

I sat there in front of her carrying a heart that has experienced love and loss more than anyone else I thought. Memories of my past just flashed in front of me and I couldn't help but revisit those memories just to tell her how love sometimes teaches you the best lessons you wouldn't learn otherwise. Sometimes - no matter how long, or how much you love someone, they will never love you back and somehow you have to learn to be okay with that. I began my story to pacify her.

I met this guy Rakshit in my school back in my 8th class. He was one of my closest friends in school. We were in the same class till 12 when I moved out to pursue engineering at some other place and he continued his medical studies there itself. By the time I was in 12th, we had spent enough time to know each other very well. We did some projects together in school that brought us more close to each other. I was sure that I had some very intense feelings for him but those never translated into words because I was not ready for it. I was a child back then, didn't know what love actually means. What I knew was that, there was a guy who makes me happy all the time, there was a guy whose happiness meant more to me than my own, there was a guy who impressed me beyond limits with his charm and intellect!

The time had come for us to part as the schools finished.
"I would like to thank you, for showing me a part of myself that I have never seen. Yeah we were young and dumb, but it still was fun and I guess these things just tend to fall apart and I hope you feel the same" was my message to him as we bid farewell to each other promising to be in touch forever!

I took my friendship for granted. I never confessed my love for him for I wasn’t sure. I thought it might be temporary like the one we term infatuation. I was sure I will move on. It was my confidence in my ability to find happiness in new days, new places and in people that desisted me from proposing to him that time and later, I knew I was wrong.

Life after school wasn't much easy. It was a new place, new people. As time passed, I realized I was missing him. There was vacuum in my life and something inside me wanted to talk to him, see him. I was frustrated because I couldn't tell if it was real. Mad because I didn't know how he felt. Upset because we couldn't make it right. Sad because I needed him. Aggravated because he wouldn't understand my feelings. Disappointed because we couldn't be together, but still I thought I loved him more than ever. A year had passed by then. I contacted him at times but mostly we were busy in our own separate worlds.

One day, almost a year later I picked up my phone and called him up
"Happy Birthday Rakshit" I said.
"Thanks Sreya, How are you?" he replied back. Formal questions followed the conversation and I sensed some change in his attitude towards me. I didn’t know what it was. I avoided reaching to any conclusion all by myself.

From someone I came to know that he knew I had feelings for him and he was upset and "angry", because I betrayed his trust(?) and friendship(!). I enquired this from our common friends but no one could tell me the reality.

I thought I might lose him if I ever tell him about myself now. Gradually, we both started settling in our own lives. I tried calling him a few times but every time he answered only my questions and the conversation was no more than a formality. I wanted him to at least tell me why was he angry? He could have cleared any misunderstanding with me because I was his friend first. But he never did that. Instead he started avoiding me. He tried avoiding me to such an extent that he wouldn’t even come for the annual reunions during Diwali just because I used to come there. alone_and_waiting-13005

He never tried to contact me and it was me who tried to contact him. Years passed in this fashion. We had absolutely no direct contact. Sometime you just have to hold your head up high, blink away the tears and say good-bye. One day I decided to forget him and move on in my new life after finishing college. I spent my college life finding answers to some of the questions that life throws at us. I tried getting close to other people in my college but I was never able to come out of his thoughts. Some temporary phases of forgetting him, I diverted my mind in music, dance. But then again he used to resurface, his thoughts, his charm, everything in fact. In the process of finding my true self, I lost many relations including the love of a few very close friends just because I couldn’t love them back. After all, every relation expects love in return.

I think one cannot learn to forget, but hangs on the past: how far or fast he runs, that chain runs with him. My situation was also similar. Whatever I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about him. With passing time, the thoughts started changing and I got used to it.

Some 6 months later, I went home for a vacation. As usual, I was supposed to meet my friends during Diwali.

"Hi Sreya, Listen Rakshit is here too, He wants to meet you personally. Can you meet him tomorrow?" said one of our common friend ( his best friend) on phone. He told me that Rakshit wanted to meet me and he wanted both of us to be friends again (??!!?!). I didn't know what to reply .I could not find any answer and I agreed meeting him.

Next day I had to meet him.

The whole night I thought about my life - PAST, PRESENT & THE FUTURE. Someone had become a part of my life in those forgone years. 6 years was a long time. It took him 6 years to understand the basic fundamentals of friendship and love. So what if in the beginning he came to know I loved him, he would have told me if he didn’t have such thoughts on me, I would have accepted it gladly. We were close friends first and feelings developed later! He thought, we could still be friends.

I had achieved success in every field with the blessings of my parents and loved ones and in every happy phase of my life, my parents and friends stood by me. If I look back today, whenever I was sad, it was because of him. If I ever cried , it was because of him. I could find him in all the past moments of my life whenever I was in sorrow. Did he deserve another chance?? Or did he even deserve meeting me ever again? I asked this question to myself knowing that a part of me desperately wanted to meet him. But I knew, I had a clear answer.

The next day, I met every other friend of mine except him. Before leaving my hometown, I sent him a letter through my friend. The letter said

Rakshit,

You know I was not completely over you. You used to cross my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also used to pass through my heart. This happened enough, my heart became completely hardened to you, and I got to the point where you don't affect me anymore. Almost everything in life is easier to get out of, except when in love.

Getting out of love isn't that difficult too, if only you realize that the one who hurts you can never be the one who deserves you. I have learnt lessons in life over the years. There were reasons we met, reasons for the good times and reasons for the bad times, and most importantly a reason to end. We have more to learn, more to experience and more loving to do in this lifetime may be not together. I hope it teaches you some lesson!

Goodbye!

Sreya

And this time, Goodbye was forever! I never thought about him again the way I used to before this day.

I knew Love has taught me a lesson for life! Life moves on and you overcome challenges of love, attraction and obsession. I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer. However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names.. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things or friends. Things do not change, we change. Friends don't change , situations change. If you are destined to get someone, you will get him/her and if you are not , you won’t ,even if you try. So leave it to God! Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, Because the flow that has passed will never pass again. So never waste time for people who are not worth it!

If I had my life to live over again, I will not change it because the life so far has taught me some of the best lessons of life, love and loss!

As I finished my story, I looked at Nandini. She was wearing a heavy smile on her face. "Mom, I love you", saying this she hugged me and I knew my daughter got all her answers!

At one point of time, we all would've had a heartbreak/grief. But when we start learning the bitter truth of life, we will really start loving the life. In this process, sometime we may sit near a window with a hot cup of tea, watch the drizzles of rain hitting your face, think of all those incidents which happened in our past. That will make you understand, though your past changed your course, it would've given you the best. Love your life and live it.

P.S : Hey how is this? Liked it eh?!

With Love,

Shruti-Logo

Image Courtesy : Google Images

86 comments:

Kaka said...

sooper......u will make a very good writer...i am serious about that....really good write...u held my interest until the very end....especially the santoor thing at the end....:P....i liked it...

Shruti said...

@Kaka
Hey u r the first 2 read this!! Really was it nice? Am jumping in joy :) :)
U read it till the end?!!?
Wow, thanks re :)

Amar Mehta said...

Dont read much of blogs ...Just sometyms here and there ...But was lucky that i read your post today ...Totally loved it ...Sth anyone can always realate too ...Simple and awesum style of presenting ...

Shruti said...

@Amar
Welcome to my blog :)
Thanks a ton for those appreciations!

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Shruti
Honestly, don’t have words to tell you how much i loved your this post! It’s simply hit the right cord at the right time.

I'm glad that i could relate to the emotions your story was trying to reflect.

Perhaps Chweety, indeed memories are so sweet yet intimating that it's somehow sometimes very hard to forget them.


However, I like to take my stand over my belief : "I like to move on, I definitely do but move on with the TREAURED MEMORIES!"


Beautiful post!
Keep the spark Alive..

SG said...

First time here. Excellent fiction. Put me on the edge of the seat until the end. This blog is a "must read" for every teenager in India.

While reading I had my emotions running high. I was unconsciously hoping and praying you don't meet Rakshit the next day. To me, he does not deserve you. He ignored your love for 6 years. All of a sudden he wants to talk to you. Why? He wants something from you? Also, why didn't he pick up the phone and call you directly instead of sending message through his friend. (I think he should have called you directly because of me living in USA all my life. May be this is an acceptable thing in India).

vEnKy said...

your narration has improved miles. The story was good i suggest you try different genres as well.

Miss_Nobody said...

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice-Loved it,Mom :P No really ever tried getting your work publishe?

Kaka said...

either i read the post or i don't...i don't leave it in the mid....i am usually the first to read ur posts..:P...honestly it was good re...:)

Shruti said...

@Rachana
U are true, chereishing memories does yearn us some memories. Sometimes they prick ur heart, sometimes its like a breathe of fresh air...

Thank u so much :)

Shruti said...

@SG
Hey, welcome to my blog yaar :)
Glad, really glad that u enjoyed your stay here!
Thanks for all those good words :)

Right from this time, we youngsters must understand the fundas n facts of life :)

KEEP VISITING!

Shruti said...

@Venky
Different genres?! Will surely try!
Thanku!

Shruti said...

@Miss Nobody
"Loved it mom"
?????!!!?! What's this :O :O

Getting my works published?! I must improve a lot to get that done :)

Shruti said...

@Kaka
Ada ada ada!
Thanks nanba :) :)

RAM said...

Hey this is really a cute one. Really I loved it especially the letter to rakshit by sreya.You have improved a lot with your writings. Keep going :)

MM said...

really really NicE!!
I loved ur para 'I was frustrated because I couldn't tell if it was real. Mad because I didn't know how he felt. Upset because we couldn't make it right. Sad because I needed him. Aggravated because he wouldn't understand my feelings. Disappointed because we couldn't be together,' very well written.. it touched my heart.
1 small suggestion - "Nandini was heartbreak and was madly " should be "Nandini was heartbroken and was madly" ... gramatically .. thats all :) u write very well!! n I love the twists at the end of each ur story.

Yellow Tulip said...

wow...:)..mindblowing:)..very nice story and very heart touching :)...i know for one thing these words of urs will be there like forever:)...thank u dear:)...beautiful:)

Shruti said...

@Ram
Thanks a ton buddy!

Shruti said...

@Shruti
Hi sweety!
Hey, took your suggestion and incorporated them! Actually, it was a typo! didn't notice! Thanks for pointing out!

Thank u so much :)

evanescentthoughts said...

why is the name "Sreya"? :))) trying to apply butter to the butterqueen eh? :)
A very sweet post girl. if I had read this a yr back, I wud have cried but I learnt this "never waste time for people who are not worth it" a hard way :)
A very realistic fiction girl.. your narration is really good!

Shruti said...

@Yellow tulip
Hey thanks a lot girlie :)

Shruti said...

@Avada
Hi ashwini :)
The reason for the name - When i started writing, i need 2 girls name and it happened to be sreya!
Yes u r true!
'"never waste time for people who are not worth it'
It makes a lot of sense!
Thanks a ton girlie :)

ScarletTd1ar1es said...

why didnt she give him a second chance?

Singh Amit said...

Awesome Post..Shruti.. :)
One of the best fictions I have ever read in blogsphere....
Loved it so much.. :)
Cheers!!

Shilpa said...

"when we start learning the bitter truth of life, we will really start loving the life. In this process, sometime we may sit near a window with a hot cup of tea, watch the drizzles of rain hitting your face, think of all those incidents which happened in our past. That will make you understand, though your past changed your course, it would've given you the best. Love your life and live it." That was awesome.

P.S: It is beautiful. No, i didn't like it, rather i loved it.

PPS: Some days ago you asked me what i meant when i said that that shruti's special spark is missing? so, here is that what was missing. :)


shilpa

kanagu said...

wonderful fiction Shruti.... :) awesome narration..

but why she didn't told her love to Rakshit... because not every time one person knows the other ones intention well...

and I loved the last bit of Mother-daughter relation.. its an interesting twist... :)

Sat_hi_sh said...

The narration was neat & crisp with a pleasant twist :)

was very soothing too :)
good work...


keep blogging
cheers!!!!

evanescentthoughts said...

you dint add me on orkut :(

balasrini said...

Toooo gud wroting Shruti!

All through the post, besides the feeling of love, pain & longing, felt a kind of positive vibration... U are a natural born writer...

At places, the writing creates an impact that it finds fault on the guy... He should not be blamed... But there may be some situations that might have forced that guy to behave like that...

Shruti said...

@Raj
Hey, he doesn't understood the funda's of love and friendship! So that girl thought he doesn't deserve even a single chance!

Shruti said...

@Amit
Really?? Thank u so much! :)

Shruti said...

@Shilpa
Wow!! Celebration time! Shruti's spark came back!! Yippee :)

Thanks a lot shilpa!

Shruti said...

@Kanagu
hey sometimes actions speak more than words yaar! Definitely the feelings towards him by the girl must have been felt!

Thank u!

Shruti said...

@Sathish
Thanks a ton buddy!!

Shruti said...

@Avada
Added, accept my request!

Shruti said...

@Bala
Thank u so much bala! Yenna solrethune therila! I don't know whether am a born writer. But am glad that i am able to convert my thoughts into words!

Thank u so much!

Arnav said...

Amazing :)

"If I had my life to live over again, I will not change it because the life so far has taught me some of the best lessons of life, love and loss!"
SO true life teaches a lot and the maximum we learn is when we are going through a tough phase..

√♪נ汉Ψ said...

Really well written shruti...reading, i am reading your every post (almost)...
Keep it up...


http://www.scribedbyme.blogspot.com/

Roshmi Sinha said...

A very good read indeed :) I will visit often...

P.S. I've added some more info to my post. Hope that'll address your Qs. Do check out...

Shruti said...

@Arnav
Thank u so much arnav!!

Shruti said...

@Vijay
Hey,welcome back after a long time!
Glad that u liked this post :)

Shruti said...

@Roshmi
Hi, welcome to my space!
Thank u!!
Keep Visiting!

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

hey thats a nice story...too good...

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

hey this is really not another story...its marvelous...

u have really grown up as a writer. :D

Neha said...

Shruti darling, please forgive me, i am late this time...but i opened this post five times since morning, and couldn't finish it somehow...now I closed all the applications and kept this page open, so that nobody to disturb me while reading it...

loved the narration...such an amazing post...flawless...SG said it correctly, every teenager must read this post of urs...another blogadda pic for sure..:)))

n yeah, one of ur best write ups..

Rajalakshmi Umapathy said...

Hey shruthi... Good one da.. like you said every single person would relate to it .. our first love is not always the love of our life..

Chatterbox said...

Excellent post Shruti.
I feel fiction writing is more difficult than non-fiction, for it's totally on the writer's skill to determine a good end.

I am very new at fiction writing. Your awesome narrations are a great inspiration to me.

Keep up the good work.

Thanks for dropping by my blog.

Cheers!!

Mahesh said...

Hi Shruti...

Great post ....superb .... marvellous .... these standard words wont suit for this unique post.

Many adjectives were standing in a que when i thought to write a feedback... I had to trim them for better reasons..

First of all, I have to appreciate your writing skills. It's flow is as smooth as honey. I just visualised every moment you had described . You are adept at presenting those delicate and tender emotional feelings with pragmatic flavours. The narration will make anyone to empathise with the gal.

The naturalist in me loved your post completely, except for the words God and Destiny(negligible). The rationalist in me raised few more queries. But the person in Mahesh got so melted for the above points that I ended up reading your post many times in many aspects with lots of analysis, opinions, conclusions and synthesis.
1. I spent my (college) LIFE finding answers to some of the questions that life throws at us.(*****)
2. I think one cannot learn to forget(***)
3. Almost everything in life is easier to get out of, except when in love.
4. Things do not change, we change.(***)
5. Friends don't change , situations change(***)
6. a feeling of contempt also used to pass through my heart(****)
7. if only you realize that the one who hurts you can never be the one who deserves you
8. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer
9. no matter how long, or how much you love someone, they will never love you back and somehow you have to learn to be okay with that


These things make the post 99% perfect


How about these ?
1. After all, every relation expects love in return. (Think once)
2. If you are destined to get someone, you will get him/her and if you are not , you won’t ,even if you try. So leave it to God!(Can u make it better buddy)
3. If I look back today, whenever I was sad, it was because of him. If I ever cried , it was because of him. I could find him in all the past moments of my life whenever I was in sorrow.(him or both of them?)

Finally,

My concern is that, in future, I dont want to read a chick-let book(campus novels) from Shruti, rather, I want something as special and unique as Shruti (i guess you got my point now ...). So the reason behind my analysis is to raise the bar bit higher for would-be-novelist Shruti.

## Is the book going to be free for me??

PS: Sorry, I couldnt find a scribe to help me out.....so bit delay in response.

cheers,
mahi :) :) :)

kanagu said...

Hi Shruti,

you have been awarded:

http://kanaguonline.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/awards-time/

pRiYaN...! said...

good narration !

Miss_Nobody said...

Was just joking :)-hope I didn't offend you with the mom thing :)

Vinay Sharma said...

hey .. visited ur blog after a while .. seems u changed ur template .. love it :)

.. great post .. regretting not visiting often .. so following now :)

A S said...

hii

I like your stories..

keep writing :)

Chetan said...

hey shruti, this is such a nice post
and I must say there is a same phase in my life too that i ve not forgotten ( not with any girl)
you just reminded me again of that phase,
i hope that,when i would be completely out of it, i would write it in my blog

Guria said...

Err.. why is her name Sreya??

Bharathi said...

Nice story. I liked "If I had my life to live over again, I will not change it because the life so far has taught me some of the best lessons of life, love and loss!"
Good point made in this statement.

Abdul said...

honestly shruti. i didnt have the patience to read it fully.. i jus don get it.. wats the bloody problem with people in love..i jus cant stand people who r smitten/abandoned by gf/bf.. even in stories..losers

romanticizing these sorta stuff is total crap.. there's lot more to love than jus elevated heart beats, intense feelings, sleepless nights and terribly missing..

whats the big deal if the guy/girl ditches you.. we always got our mom/dad to love us always..

Shruti said...

@Sid
Thanks Siddhesh!

Shruti said...

@Sid
That's a real appreciation!

Shruti said...

@Neha
That's ok and thanks a ton, really, for those appreciation!
Blogadda pick? I don't know :)

Shruti said...

@Raji
Is the experience in you is speaking now?!

Shruti said...

@Chatterbox
Girl, sorry for not visiting ur blog! But, i lost my blog roll! :(
Thanks and am ur inspiration?! That's a real news to me!

Shruti said...

@Mahesh
The success of a writer can be felt when the readers visualizes things. I think am successful on writing this post!
You don't believe in destiny?!

1.After all, every relation expects love in return
Our parents love us withput expecting our returns! But can u expect the same from your friends, relatives?

2.If you are destined to get someone, you will get him/her and if you are not , you won’t ,even if you try. So leave it to God!(Can u make it better buddy)
How can i make?! When u don't believe in God and destiny, really it would be difficult to digest!

3.If I look back today, whenever I was sad, it was because of him. If I ever cried , it was because of him. I could find him in all the past moments of my life whenever I was in sorrow.(him or both of them?)
I don't know what to answer!
Book for you! What language you are speaking?! :O

Thanks Mahi!

Shruti said...

@Kanagu
Thanks a lot kanagu! U made my day :)

Shruti said...

@Priyan
Thank you!

Shruti said...

@Miss Nobody!
Certainly no offense made :)

Shruti said...

@Vinay
Oye hi! Welcome back after a longgggg time!
U like this template! So am i!

Thank u so much for following!

Shruti said...

@AS
Welcome to my blog!
Glad that u liked it! Will continue writing!

Shruti said...

@Chetan
Buddy! I don't know what to tell! But waiting for that post to come! Life is like that, its difficult to digest something, chew them hard and you won't find it that much difficult!

Shruti said...

@Guria
Errr... Why the name shouldn't be sreya! I can assure you that this sreya (in my story), is not the BUTTER QUEEN!

Shruti said...

@Bharathi
The lines you quoted here is my opinion about life! I wrote whatever I felt like! But it does make lots of sense. Isn't it?

Thank u!

Shruti said...

@Abdul
This story is just not about the loss in love, i don't wanna write the same. This is about the perspective or u can refine it and say, it is just the girl's take on life! U read it fully and you will surely understand!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

@ Shruti,

I don't know what to answer! ....


Hey, why dont you try to answer so that the unknown and hidden perpective in you may spring up. Who knows we may end up in exploring new avenues in that path.
Try buddy :)

cheers,
mahi.

Shruti said...

@Mahi
U want me to be a retrospect! Fine, let me try my level best :)

vinu said...

wow !!!! Wow !!! wat a gr8 story and yeah definitely I should tell the truth that this post brought back some of memories.And I should mention that this line made me feel too gud for ur imagination.""""As I finished my story, I looked at Nandini. She was wearing a heavy smile on her face. "Mom, I love you", saying this she hugged me and I knew my daughter got all her answers!""""

I just thought u were a frnd of Nandini at the beginning but ur imagination is way ahead of mine :)

Anyways I to have got a blogadda pick for my post on last saturday and I too have written a similar kinda post which is actually my exp.

http://me-as-a-blogger.blogspot.com

PS:
Nothing is permanent in Life ..Some people come and go in the middle and some people accompany you till the end but whatever happens Life has to move on...

Abdul said...

i gathered up some courage and read it fully.. its infact not bad.. gr8 endin though..
but is still cant help wonder wat a loser this girl has been.. and my sympathies to her friends..
my unsolicited advice: when u find ur frend fallin in love, jus run away.. run for ur life.. :)

Shruti said...

@Vinu
Welcome to my blog :)
Oh you didn't expect that end coming eh?! :)
I read yours too! It was good :)

Keep visiting!

Shruti said...

@Abdul
Abdul is back after reading the story! U gathered up courage and read it! :( was it that bad!

U r so much against love or what? Many of my friends are in love.. But that's their personal thing! We can't interfere!

Abdul said...

not that it was bad.. but there were two things which was scary.. 1. it was abt a girl 2. it was abt love..

and ya.. even i have friends in love.. but i sincerely wish they weren't.. people jus don understand wat love is.. irritating..

Shruti said...

@Abdul
Scared about that girl? Why is it so?!
You are correct! They don't know what love is! To be very frank, they don't know what is the difference between love and lust!

Shankar said...

hey..unaku characterku vera name kedaikaliya?
cha..cha..spoiled my mood to read this post.....

Shruti said...

@Shankz
Ada paaavi...padikalaya?!
Hey anikku than un kitta sanda potten! Andha kovathula andha pera vechu yezhudhinen!

Makk said...

I dont see my comment here ????????????????????????/

Shruti said...

@Makk
I don't reject any comments! I didn't receive your comments :)

Makk said...

I said

Its your best creation, I have come across ever.

is it 100% fiction?

Shruti said...

@Makk
Yes, 100% fiction! Really happy to get such a comment!

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