Hi :)
Understand what is 55Fiction!? 55 Fiction is a form of micro fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.Most 55 Fiction works are dramatized so as to get the effect in limited time.
THEIR WORLD..
Near the school....
The little kids reach school pampered by their parents.
The musician at the entrance was enjoying himself by playing beetle's tunes.
In the corner park, lovers were passionately kissing each other.
Outside a beggar sighed on seeing his collection.
Within a flash, their world was gone. An explosion dismantled everything.
This is dedicated to all those who lost their lives in bomb blast in the recent years and also to the family members who lost their dear ones
How is this? Drop a comment and let me know what you feel after reading this!
With Love,
Image Courtesy : Google Images
62 comments:
hayyayo..:(..
so sad, but these days such scenes are becoming very near..:(..
Gud one Shruthi...
Another unexpected ending...
keep it up girl!!!
Good one shruthi..was nice... but I feel like something is missing... could have been better...
@Prams
yes! Blast everywhere!!
Thanks :)
@Bala
Hope u got that exact feeling in this!
Thanks yaar!
@SHankar!
Thanks! But what is missing?!
huh? but why? sad
@Kay
why? I don understand..yes its sad! Losing so many lives!
good one girl.. sadly these things are becoming so common these days :( :(
@Avada
True yaar! Losing lives and giving away dear ones to these tragic incidents is horrible!
It's very Nice one Shruti..
How Vulnerable our life is!!
Cheers!!
@Amit
very true yaar! We dunno what ll happen the next second
Hmmm thats nice. Though the scene contains 55 words, the message it carries is something very important and vital. Nice that your blogs are stating the social evils. Keep blogging.
@Ram
thanks buddy!
okie... not good but not bad too.. lacked something..
great yaar........
may be it can b little more descriptive bt still hs great depth..
i got goose bumps when I read the last line...Do I need to say more?
one of the most cheerful stuff u have written.. i mean a kid listening to music,couple kissing.. all happy.. and they just die instantly.. so beautiful..but somehow i guess that was not meant when this was written..free
very nice!
Your story portrays how unpredictable and unsafe life has become.
Let's live our lives to the fullest every moment, we never know when all these small moments of joy and goodness be lost forever.
Cheers!!
hmmm... can u change this - "The little kids reaches school pampered " it should be "The little kids reach school pampered " ..
Also I did not get why the begger sighed on seeing the children??
The ending twist is nice... but can u change "flattened everything" to something else?? sorry :) too many suggestions.. just wrote what i felt. loved ur earlier 55er though :)
so much in so few words..
its more than amazing Shruti!!
beautiful...
btw I am waiting for your write up..
Very emotionally expressed.It could be a sad day in one's life when one loses a dear one.
@Vishnu
Lacked something in what?
@The aspirant
You can't describe such things in 55Fiction! Thanks buddy!
@Neha
Girlie that sums up everything!
@Soin
I think you got the story line..
They were all enjoying themselves. Suddenly the explosion shattered everything!
@Chatterbox
True..LIVE YOUR LIFE which most of us don't do! Thanks
@Shruti
Thanks for those advice and I changed something!
Beggars sighed on seeing his COLLECTION and NOT CHILDREN
Thanks :)
@RSV
Thanks buddy! U aren't trying any more 55Fictions?!why?
@RSV
Will do it once I get time. Quite busy for some days!
@Chowla Ji
yes sir :)
Thank you for your comment!
Nice message here. Had it been like a story rather than a writeup it would have been even better.
@Bharathi
Thanks!
I wanted to describe everyone's life..That's why it resembled a write up.
May be i will improve the next time!
I agree with Shankar, it could have been much better. The usual 'shruti-special' spark was missing in this one.
shilpa
Very thought provoking, how life can be gone within a second.
A good issue excellently written.
Yvonne.
yapaaa...how much things can change everything!! poor victims...! Simple but Powerful..kaka kaka style mathiri! :)
:) Love it! ... I'm amazed u actually took the criticism in such good spirit!! Thank you :)
You get better and better each time don't you??? good one shruts.. Nice touch!!
theriyala.. it could hav benn better..
achoo..!!!sad:(each word u hav written here convey a beautiful feelin xcept for d bomb.. nice work !
(regarding the comment on my post)
@Shruti: First off, i hope u like this blog.
second i do miss him a litllllllle bit. mostly u can say that he misses me-well my cooking to be frank... :D
@Shilpa
Oh my!! I still couldn't find the missing element!
:)
Will write up well!
@Yvonne
very true!!
@Hary
kaka kaka dialougue! Hehehhe...thanks! Aana adhu villain solre dialougue
@Shruti
hey girlie, you helped to to churn this 55Fiction well!
@Raji
Do you really feel this is good? I don't think so!
@Vishnu
Yenakkum therila!
@Benny
Thanks!
@THS
Hey welcome 2 my blog!
Hey I meant the way you write things!! I know this one has a very sad ending to everything.
@Raji
May be...ana many told this s not my best!
Value what you have.. & make every day count .. Guess that's what such incidents ought to teach us.
@Lost world
Very truly said!!!
Nice one Shruti!
'In the corner park, lovers were passionately kissing each other.'-
I am sure this city is not Mumbai.Raj Thackeray and gang would never allow such a thing in the first place. :D
@Sammy
:P LOL!!
Its not mumbai!! :P
sadly true...n its becoming more often:(...
@Yellow tulip
Yes girl :(
heya! m a first timer at yr blog:) this piece of fiction was awesum...:)
its sad that bomb explosions rip apart innocent ordinary lives...well narrated!
@Divsi
Hey, welcome to my space!!
Thanks for those appreciations :)
Nice one shruthi. Kalelaye avanga vela arambichitaangala kachadavelaya parkla 8 o clock galeej parties ma avanga
@Venky
Yes...truly galeej :P
Thanks da :)
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