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Monday, November 16, 2009

Poem - My first Attempt

I was speaking with one of my well wisher few days back in Facebook. She told me that I am deviating a lot these days from my usual styles of writing. Even I felt that and wanted to try something different. Believe me guys, it took me one full day 2 think what to write, one hour to select a theme and 5 hours to write and modify it as a poem. So please bear with me and read this pathetic attempt.

THE MAN AND HIS WIFE

The man shall leave his father's house
And cleave unto his wife
Loving her with the greatest love
Laying down his own life
He shall nourish her and cherish her
And she shall give him reverence
Both submitted in the fear of God
Rendering due benevolence
They shall not be two, but shall be one
In body, soul and spirit
Defrauding not and keeping faith
Let none interfere with it
For the man's desire shall be for her
His wife shall be by his side
And he shall live for her all their days
As Nature does with the pride.

I really wonder what made me write this!!

With Love,

Shruti-Logo

Image courtesy : Google Images

76 comments:

HaRy!! said...

hey mate...nice one :)...yep me wondering..wat made yu write this..!

kanagu said...

I am a dumbo when it comes to poem.. really hard to understand... :(

and I hope someday you will write a poem that I can understand :) :)

G3 said...

:))) Cute one :D

Leo said...

wow.. i donno what made u write, but its a nice change and its very nicely written..! :) good rhyme too!

u shd try like this more often! :D

ps: I TOLD YOU YOU COULD WRITE POETRY ;) :D

Shruti said...

@hary
Thanks :)
Seriously am blanked out now!When I read it, I am wondering, 'What the heck did I write'

Shruti said...

@Kanagu
Ada,naanum apdi than! But this one is thoda simple...Isn't it!

Shruti said...

@G3
Sirippu villangamay irukkay!! Maraimugamo yedhachum solla varengalo? Anyways Thanks :-)

Shruti said...

@Leo
Thanks...getting such an accolade from a poet is too good!! Often?me?writing poems? Huh! I struggled hard to phrase ths one!!

And u are the one who asked me 2 write poems, but its someone else who asked me 2 try different things..

Guria said...

Hey girlie, I did find the last two posts of yours kinda' different... But this poem is really good! You do do different things and well, too. I had a bit of a trouble understanding, but the last few lines were really nice! :)
Good going, girl!! :)

Guria said...

P.S. The person who is mentioned by 'quotes' above has already read and approved of this creative (and poetic, too) Lamb-y!! :)

Shruti said...

@Guria
Difficult for you to understand? Oh migh :-(
You are an amazing poetess! U found them different? Wow, I took up ur words!

Seriously am beaming now! Know why? YOU LIKE IT!!
Yay yay yay!!

Shruti said...

@Guris
Yes world, ITS GURIA WHO ASKED ME TO TRY DIFFERENT THINGS AND NOT TO STUCK WITH PREDICTABLE THINGS!

Thanks Sweety!

gils said...

//I am a dumbo when it comes to poem.. really hard to understand... :(//

kanagu..manithar unarnthu kolla ithu manitha poem alla..lla..la..aa....athaiyumthaaanddiiyaathu :)

Bharathi said...

-Ditto- Kanagu

gils said...

yaar antha well wisher..avanga matum en kaila sikinaanga..avangalaa.....apdiye potri paaratanumnu sollavanthen..unakulla irukara teramaya velila kondu vanthirukaanga paaren

gils said...

intha kaujayin moolam thaangal koora varum karuthu??? kannaalam aana purusan pondaatia..freeya vitranuma??

gils said...

hehehe...vantha velai mudinthathu...narayana narayana

Paritosh said...

The man shall leave his father's house
And cleave unto his wife


Usually most of the stories/poem we listen to are the other way round. You were not kidding when you said you wanted to do something different :).

Nice poem. Had some issues with understanding the Shakespearean language though. Was never good with it, even in school.

Shruti said...

@Gils
Vandhutiya vandhutiya...
"".manithar unarnthu kolla ithu manitha poem alla..lla..la..aa....athaiyumthaaanddiiyaathu""
ATHAMYUM THAANDI UNNAI MADHRI JANTHUKKUM PURIYA VEIKKA TRY PANIYATHU :P

Shruti said...

@Bharathi
-Ditto- Kanagu's answer :D :P

Shruti said...

@Gils
Ada, adan...Guria mattum idha tamilla padicha...apdiye unna.....avalum paratuva nu solla vanden...
Ada paaren...yenakullayum yedho irundhurkku paaren... !!!!

Shruti said...

@Gils
""intha kaujayin moolam thaangal koora varum karuthu??? kannaalam aana purusan pondaatia..freeya vitranuma?""
Ada padharugala!!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

So, Will you become 'Princess of Poems' or 'Queen of poems' ??

Shruti said...

@Gils
"".vantha velai mudinthathu...narayana narayana""
Idayum oru polappa vechu ne suthindrukka paaren neeyum!

Shruti said...

@Paritosh
""Usually most of the stories/poem we listen to are the other way round""
Seriously am happy that someone noticed this line...

""You were not kidding when you said you wanted to do something different""
:)
This line mean a lot to me :)

Shakespearian english?Mine? Arey stop kidding re

Shruti said...

@Mahesh
Princess?!?!
Queen?!?!
That is not meant for me... Just a pathetic attempt!

gils said...

//Ada, adan...Guria mattum idha tamilla padicha...apdiye unna.....avalum paratuva nu solla vanden.../

apo avangalta ami tumako baalu bashe solitu manichu vitrunganu ess aaiduven :D :D

Rajalakshmi Umapathy said...

Man and wife!!! konjam okva.. I dint understand something in the middle.. but got it after reading it twice!!!

Shruti said...

@Gils
Aiyayoooo!!! Loosa ne?

Shruti said...

@Raji
Konjam Ok va? So let me stop writing :D
Thanks raji!!!

pra said...

Is this really your first attempt?I can't believe this!! It is very good! You should try it again...I know there are so many efforts and so much time you had invested but it is worth of it!!

evanescentthoughts said...

Okayyyy I have a new title ready for you "queen of poetry" already, just in case you know :D :D write few more and then I will confer that title to you.. btw who is this "well wisher", is it miss butter queen? Hmm so what made you write this? little difficult to understand girlie.. understood after reading twice or thrice.. next time try to make it simpler but otherwise meaningful and nice :)
Btw you dint read my update post :(

Vipul Grover said...

So lambi wants the Ganga to flow backwards from its delta towards its glacier.. Well, a nice thought.. nd a real cool message by showing the opposite! Gr8 frst attempt lambi.. Really liked it.. Keep thm cuming :)

Shruti said...

@Pra
Hey pra, thanks a lot!! I don't know whether I will write often, but i love writing...it keeps my mind busy!

Shruti said...

@Avada
QUEEN OF POETRY?!?!?
OMG, there are many contenders for this and just one poem old :P
You are right! Well wisher is our dearest MISFIT GIRL!!
Seriously am wondering, what made me to write this!! U didn't understand this?! Oh my God! Very poor me!! Will try to simplify it next time!!
I read your post and even commented!! :O

Shruti said...

@Vipsy
Ahhhh, here comes the Marshall!
""the Ganga to flow backwards from its delta towards its glacier.""
That was the idea behind this...Opposite from the normal routine stuffs!!
You liked it vipsy? ahhh, am happy! Even am beaming!! Can u see?! :P
Thanks re :-)

Neha said...

nice one shruti...well written..:)

btw, my blogroll feed has some problem...so many blogs that i read regularly ain't being featured thr...urs, kaddus, panoramas etc...I can't seem to get the feed on blog, but they do get updated on the dashboard...so I am kinda updated...:))

Shruti said...

@Neha
Thanks!
Even am having probs with feeds!! Huh! Crazy blogger!

Vineeta said...

Oh God.. u started writing poems! Thats a good form of expression.. and u did a great job :) btw.. how come this topic? ;-)

Vineeta said...

btw.. forgot to share my first attempt :D I knw first attempts are always soo special :)

http://vineetazdiary.blogspot.com/2007/04/flavors-of-life.html

Shruti said...

@Vineeta
Yes, started :D
This topic...mmm...No idea!

Shruti said...

@Vineets
Will check re :-)

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

I think this is an outstanding poem. The theme wonderful, the words beautiful and excellently written. More please.

Yvonne.

Makk said...

:)

Emotional Atyachar??

hahhahaha
anyway,,,

apart from joke...

Nice attempt.

KEep Smiling.

Swaram said...

Nice one :) As Avada said,a queen of poems from nw on :)
Thatz a nice pic u got to go with the words :)

Yellow Tulip said...

wow..too good for the first attempt dear:)...poetry is definitely in u:)... loved the way it sounded:)..nice rhyming:)..too good:)...wod love to read more of ur poems:)..

About the topic:)..hmmmm very welcomin change:)...sounds to me like a perfect recipe of a perfect wedding!!..he he...jus wondering was tat wat was in ur mind then?

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Shruti

Indeed a beautiful attempt!
Simply loved this poem. O! you can definitely try more in trying new things, and more often such poems!

You rock Gurl!

Abdul said...

ha ha.. dream on buddy .. might happen oly in poems..

Darshan Chande said...

Wow! Can't believe it's your first attempt. Very beautiful, Shruti :)

RAM said...

Hey nice attempt :)

pRiYaN...! said...

this does not seems to be your first attempt. !
you will be soon awarded as"Queen of Poems"..congrats and great job!

Shruti said...

@Yvonne
Such a comment from an extraordinary poet is always great!
Thank u!

Shruti said...

@Makk
LOL :P
Thanks :)

Shruti said...

@Swaram
U girls are always on a spree to gimme names! thanks sweety!

Shruti said...

@NAN
Wow!! Superb! Am happy to the core :)
What was ther in my mind?! Wondering!!

Shruti said...

@Rachana
Thanks for the best wishes!!

Shruti said...

@Abdul
Hoping to see in reality too!

Shruti said...

@Darshan
Thanks, thanks and many thanks to yu!

Shruti said...

@Ram
Thanks!

Shruti said...

@Priyan
heheh :D :P
Thanks!

Ravan said...

Oh man... thats a nice poem...but i did not understand it et all!!!

quite hard to digest!!!

evanescentthoughts said...

see you dont even know when I put a new post :( you dont even peep into my blog. you proved this :P bad girl

Being Pramoda... said...

Hi Shruti

wow..i appriciate your efforts and the outcome is soo good.. well felt..:)

Musings of a lonely traveler said...

Shruti! u want to know a secret?? somewhere in Tamilnadu, it is a custom that groom should leave to bride's home; leaving back his parents in tears...

Too good to mention it as a first attempt; the time you have taken to shape this up has paid for it....:)

Shruti said...

@Sid
U don't understand it or u are unable to digest it?!

Shruti said...

@Avada
The problem is, i read ur post, imagined myself that i commented. Now, when I was checking back ur replies I found that I never commented! Den am off to ur blog 4 doing it!

Shruti said...

@Prams
Thnku!

Shruti said...

@Mohammed
Wow, so i have imagined some existing customs and have written it! Wish this happens everywhere!

srividya said...

"I really wonder what made me write this!!"

write wat??
the theme??:P

Abdul said...

not unless they begin to make better noon time programs in national television..

ηανєєη said...

ones who write poems ... cant 'judge' poems

am no exception !!

Shruti said...

@Sri
Adhe adhe :P

Shruti said...

@Abdul
People are still stuck with backward thoughts!

Shruti said...

@Naven
Ahem ahem!

The Aspirant said...

if this ia a first attempt den m waiting fr second one eagerly.....
really a superb wrk nd d theme, dunt knw frm where do u get such themes....really done full justice wid d poem....

Shruti said...

@TA
The theme/? even am wondering.. It happened just like that!
Am working on my second poem!

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