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Saturday, November 21, 2009

Lost in....

I wrote whatever I felt this moment. You may wonder why I am rambling. Even am wondering the same. Bear with me buddies! If you like musings, go ahead, if not, wait will next post!

The faded white sheet stared back at me. It was one of those embellished letter-pads, with little smiley's on it. Some anecdotes at one end. It looked cute. But the major portion of the sheet facing me was white, faded in ages though. White, the color that symbolizes purity, innocence. But faded white? I let out a small smile at my wavering thoughts.

The pen I held in my hand, well I was not exactly holding the pen, I was twirling it, was throwing it in the air and catching it with my single hand. Well, the pen was a cheap one. It wrote in a grayish black color. I scribbled my name in a small piece of paper that lay on one side, to check whether the pen worked. I always liked writing my name, or should I say, scribbling?

BBBB I was all set now. The paper, the pen. But.. I did not know what to write. All I knew was that I had to write something for my blog. I must write something new, something interesting, something thoughtful, some stories may be.. But no, philosophy sounded good. But I write too many stuffs these days. So I should write something you all will love, something simple and sweet. Or maybe it should be complicated, sprinkled with words that would need a dictionary to understand. Maybe. But more than everything I wanted to write for myself. Writing became my passion, my love or I can tell, its the killer. Wondering? Writing kills my loneliness, my wavering mind and the most important-it prevents me from thinking about my past. It is making me to explore, think and write things which I have never-ever dreamt in my life.

It was nice. The feeling I had experienced, the warmth that spread inside me when I read something I wrote. I am missing them a lot these days. I write things, but only some satisfies my expectation. Reason? I don't know! Sometimes am lost for words, sometimes lost for ideas, sometimes it is with right expressions, sometimes perfect plots, sometimes everything altogether and this is one such occasion. I want those soul-embracing, warm-filling writings from me. I am missing that-Ideas and words.

The pen continued to twirl in my hand. The faded paper looked at me longingly. It felt as if, it is approaching me to write something on them. AM THINKING WEIRDLY! The sun was high today, The fan was creaking by letting out warm air, Kadri Gopalnath's Saxophone playing mildly in the background, The horns from those heavy vehicles sighing continuously and me-sitting in a corner of the room, thinking about something. Is this a writers block? No, it is not. I thought about something to jot down. But when I took the pen, I was lost- for proper phrases, words, not ideas though. My mobile blared shattering the stillness inside me. Someone called me at this time. I kept the pen down, got up, took my phone, went to balcony. When I came back, the pen was lying there, on the notepad. The music continued but the track was changed, The Fan has been switched off. I found myself lost again as I did not have words to write on that sheet. The words, ideas/thoughts/story that framed inside me are somewhere else right now. SOMEWHERE - out of my thoughts, out of my reach....

With Love,

Shruti-Logo

Image Courtesy : Google Images

42 comments:

Guria said...

You know, I wonder and wonder a lot, how do you write, express so well?? :O

Musings of a lonely traveler said...

Shruti!

They say, the first reason for writer's block is that the author do not want to write....Having penned down such a wonderful collection of thoughts and expressions, don't you think that you came outta WB already....

(I too like Kadri's sax music :)

Good read Shruti

Kay said...

oh, tell me those are not the words/thoughts of each one of us...?

Shruti said...

@Guria
Arey you know what? I am a fan of your writings! And now, you say the same to me!! :)
Thanks girl!

Shruti said...

@Mohammed
Anna, I told na, its not WB, its something else.. I wanted to write something and ended up writing all the CHAOS AND CONFUSIONS occurred within me.
Thanks bro!

Shruti said...

Hi KAY,
May be, they can be! :)

Cheers!

dmanji said...

oh my my you have written such a nice piece on white sheet of paper you know I felt it was almost poetic... :D

Shruti said...

@Dhiman
Hehehe...I thought of something to write, but wrote about the swirl of my mind, paper and per :P
Thanks!

Prads said...

Aftr long gap am reading..... ur blog..

nice one ,, great expressive mood.
i think u was n perfect mood wen u penned down this blog. really good to read

Regards,
Prasee

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

Well you certainly filled up your blank white sheet of paper lol.
Well done.
I too have the same problem but shut off until I think of something to write.

Loved the read.

Yvonne.

Shruti said...

@Prasee
Thank u!

Shruti said...

@Yvonne
I never leave things untried!! Thank u!

gils said...

ezhutha onum thoanalgarathuku ivlo peria bitta!! avvvvvvvvvvvvvv...still nalalthan iruku :) oru rangea thaanya alaiyaraanga

Roshmi Sinha said...

Wow! Beautifully expressed...

Shruti said...

@gils
Sari sari vidu vidu! Arasiyalla idellam jagajamappa!!

Shruti said...

@Roshmi
Thank u!

Shashank Shekhar said...

beautiful expression of the anxiety of an author...

Meanwhile, I was trying my hands on my camera and have got another blog set up, if you would like to read:
http://colorsandcanvas.blogspot.com/

Miss_Nobody said...

Your so called writer's block didnot block anything!So beautifully expressed-me-I'd just throw in a few qoutes and be goofy about it hehe

balasrini said...

Hey Shruti,

Cool one!!!

I wud say that u have got a great talent to express things in a pleasant way that makes us stick to it and even refresh us... that's the magic u have in ur hands...

and one such post is this... expressed nothingness so chweet....

Abdul said...

i din quite get y people praise u for this post.. its a rambling.. and it has to be given its due respect.. by not respectin it at all.. the apt comment for ur post will be "ya ya.. i heard it rained yesterday"..

or if there's nothin to comment dont comment at all.. thats y i don comment in some posts

Swaram said...

Even the writerz block got out so much from u :P WTG Girl :)

I hd attended a Jugalbandi of Kadri Gopalnath and Ronu Majumdar sometime back - abs. bliss :)

Chetan said...

ths i think is one of the best of your posts, so plainly written, and so expressive
good .........

kanagu said...

kitta thitta enoda answer paper-ah paatha maari irukku... onnume theriyalana ipdi than ethayavathu ezhuthi vaippen...

you are great in playing with words :) very nice :)

ηανєєη said...

Just recovered from a writer's block ... N voila i see this post

Sometimes it looks as if "Planned" O.o

Shruti said...

@MN
Hey is it! Wish to see your goofy ones! :D

BK Chowla said...

Nice short and expressive.

Shruti said...

@Bala
U are making me more responsible.. getting things out of nothing is the writers duty... Thank u bala!

Shruti said...

@Abdul
U ask ppl not to comment! Then y did u comment!

Shruti said...

@Swaram
U listened Kadri's Jugalbandhi?! awesome re!! Another blessed soul u are!!!

Shruti said...

@Chetan
Thanks re!!

Shruti said...

@Kanagu
Naanum yen monthly tests la ipdi yezhudhi pazhaginathu dan!

Shruti said...

@Naveen
A co-incidence?! wow!!

Shruti said...

@Chowla Ji
Thanks ji!

Shruti said...

@Shashank
Thanks re...will see ur blog!

Abdul said...

im not askin people not to comment.. infact im jus not askin anythin at all.. im suggestin that people can comment more honestly..

Leo said...

you express it well..the talent to write ur heart onto sheets so well! :D

Shruti said...

@Abdul
That's so true! So the posts u dint comment doesn't deserve recognition eh!

Shruti said...

@Leo
Thank u!! :D

HaRy!! said...

hmmm ya..Kadri music is always relaxing...ipo nee room potu yosichiyo? ...epadi poguthu class elam!

Shruti said...

@Hary
Room podama yosicha eppect!

Abdul said...

nope.. i generally don comment on heavy stuffs.. and i cant comment when im sleepy or im flirting wit a girl over gtalk :).. so pls excuse.. tho i read all ur posts..

Shruti said...

>>Abdul
Flirting with gals?!
Ahem ahem!!
That's ok!! How many blogs u read?!

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