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Sunday, January 17, 2010

A letter

I don’t know whether I can stop thinking about you. In fact I don’t think I want to...

He sat down in a coffee shop and began writing a note to her.

There have been times in my life I have sulked for meeting some people, sometimes I was happy. But I felt blessed, happy, puzzled, excited the day I met you. Some have stayed on for a while and some left in a hurry. But you’re the one whom I love (d) with all my heart and I don’t think I have ever felt this way before. I have wanted to tell all this to you for a while now, but never really got along doing it. Enough is enough. Today, I just want you to know how I feel about you.

After taking a deep drag from his cigarette he thought for a while and continued writing.

man writing

I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight. Because my feeling towards you had already started even before I met you. I saw myself smiling when I read a text from you; I pictured the glint in your eyes when you laughed while talking to me on the phone. The way you wrote to me in your mails, I could sense your presence next to me and the words flowing effortlessly. I thought the feeling was mutual, may be I imagined something? But I don't care, I liked you. That's enough for me as of now. Meeting you was the only thing left.

He tried taking another puff, but the cigarette had gone off by then. He lit it again and chucked the matchstick aside. Looking at the smoke, he smiled to himself and exhaled the smoke. He looked at the rings the smoke made. He thought for a second, 'Is this smoke trying to teach me something? Yeah, it indicates, life is a full circle, but smoke? My life is hazy..'. His eyes were moist.

What's all this that am going through now? If I have to put words to this feeling that am experiencing, it would have to be ‘Pain, a pain with some peace’, a pain which I don't regret for experiencing. I feel happy every time I think about you and it’s even more painful when you are not here with me. I want to tell you that you make me really happy. I want to see that smile on your face forever. I know I can make you smile. But do you think the same?

'Would she even read this? Would she understand all this, all my feelings?' Those were his thoughts while penning this for her. He stopped writing. He read the lines again and again slowly. He read it out loud. He paused and stopped in places where he wanted her to stop. He closed his eyes and saw her. A smile escaped his lips. She still had this spell on him. That's why he called her An Angel.

I remember the time when we sat in my house and spoke. About life, about your school days, chocolates, crushes, mom, dad, drinks, pubs, parties, the things which we want to do in our life, our goals, our plans. I remember the passion - passion to achieve in your eyes when you told me the things you wanted to do in life. It all seems like yesterday that you were with me. And now when I think about it, I feel that it has been a while since I saw you or heard from you.

He was feeling emotional now. His hands were trembling. The third cup of coffee that he had ordered was now cold and almost over. The packet of cigarettes that was on the table next to him was almost over and ash tray was full. He closed his eyes again and was thinking about what to write next. He thought and slipped back to the past, He saw her standing in those salwars before him. Looking as beautiful as ever. Tringgg... Tringgg his mobile rang continuously. He shook his head and came back to the real world. He switched off the phone and settled down for writing.

I want you to know that I will always be there for you, yeah honey, forever. And I want you to be happy in life. I want you to go out there and achieve everything that you always wanted to. I want you to know that everything that I have ever told you I meant with all my heart. I want you to…I want you. I love you so much sweetheart, my Angel.

Without his knowledge his love for her, a drop of tear escaped from his eyes and signed the letter. He took one long look at the letter and sighed. He folded the letter and scribbled 49 on the back of the cover. 'One more and I will hit a half century'. The thought made him give a weak smile.

He placed the cover in a bag. There were a bunch of covers in that bag. He placed this one next to number 48. He finished the last cup of coffee, paid the bill and left the shop. On the way he took a long puff and smiled at the swirls it produced.

pile-of-letters

With Love,

Shruti-Logo

Image Courtesy : Google Images

33 comments:

Karthikeyan S said...

Nice Shruti...
Keep It up..

KK

Urvashi said...

description is good one Shruti...but does it mean that he just keep on writing letters without sending them to her..??if yes, y does he do that..?? I think he shd let his feelings known to her....

Shruti said...

>>KK
Thanks da :)

Shruti said...

>>Urvashi
Thanks girl :)
Yeah he kept writing letters. The reason for not giving her is, Lack of courage :)

Samadrita said...

Wow poor guy.I had assumed that maybe she was deceased that's why he keeps writing her letters....just like in Million Dollar Baby Clint Eastwood used to write to his daughter but never posted the letters.
Nice write as always-this time you take us on an emotional journey. :)

Raji U said...

For a moment I thought he was writing to his sister or something.

"About life, about your school days, chocolates, crushes, mom, dad, drinks, pubs, parties, the things which we want to do in our life, our goals, our plans. I remember the passion - passion to achieve in your eyes when you told me the things you wanted to do in life."

these lines made me think like that but the last ones showed she wasn't just the sister.

And BTW, Sonna than kadhal.

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Shruti

I had been on the vacation for a while and henced missed out commneting on many of your last posts...which i'm still to finish reading. You kind of create a magic that makes me glued at your blog. This post is so wonderful thatbi simply dnt have words to express. Only wish that someone could write me just one letter like this one and i shall blossom forever.

Shruti, you are so perefect in creeting the magic of 3D effects and digital sounds in your stories making it feel the moment.

I feel so glad that i read your blog:)


Hope and wish to see the cont. version of the post. Tell me with you imaginaition...who is HE and why is he writting the letter and what is going to be the 50th one and will they meet ever....Ahhh...m so curious to know...

Keep the spark Alive..
luv yeah!

gils said...

i read this again and again ...loved every word of it :)

vAnDaNa sLaThIa said...

awesome

loved it

p.s. u got one more follower

Tavish Chadha said...

@Shruti: that was so amazingly written... believe me I had tears in my eyes when i read it. Some not so similar memory came back...
i wrote something similar a while back... do check it out...Click here

Tavish Chadha said...

and yeah forgot to mention... i liked the use of the different text colors... makes the post much more readable... will use that next time I write one.... i hope its not gonna be a copyright violation? :P

Shruti said...

>>Sammy
Hey girlie, U are completely back eh ;)
Naah, she is very much alive, but this guy never had the guts to tell her! That's why 49 letters..

Emotional journey? Yeah it was intended :) Thank you!

Shruti said...

>>Raji
Hi :)
Sister? I read it again after seeing your comment. There was not a single line that was meant like that! May be the line you mentioned indicated you so!

Sonna than kaadhal - hey sollatiyum kaadhal dhan!!

Shruti said...

>>Rachana
Hi girlie :)
Welcome back.. How was your vacation? Hope you had a blast there :)
Yeah, even I wish I have someone to write a letter like this :) Really you heard 3D effects and back scores? Whoa, you are creative I guess :) :)

A sequel to this eh? Its unspoken love re :). It will go on forever like this :)

Thank u so much! I really felt so good after reading your comment :)

Shruti said...

>>Gils
Avlo nallava irukku?!?! Nandri :)

Shruti said...

>>Vandana
Hi Vandana, welcome to H&M, hope you enjoy your stay here :)

Thank you and many thanks for following me :)

Shruti said...

>>Tavish
Did I read it correctly? U had tears? You had such instance in your life?
Will check out your post too :)

Shruti said...

>>Tavish
Actually nobody noticed that till now! Glad that you noticed and appreciated that.. Actually I like using them :D

Copyrights violation! Oh yeah, all those copyrights are reserved with me! :P

Tavish Chadha said...

well the tears were because of the way u wrote it... i think there was feeling in every word that you wrote...

naa not the same experience... very different experiences but on the same subject... :)

so u do have a copyright? Well i think u can all allow a friend to use it right? hehe :P

Shas said...

Painfully romantic.

RamMmm said...

Can we see a bright, cheerful, happy, yippee, positive, lively story from you?

This one drips of pathos. Thought the letters were to a possibly dead woman, wife or friend, but alas!, she's still alive. :-) Reminded me to an extent of the opening sequence of 7G Rainbow Colony as a similé.

irunga irunga, namma maruththuvar indha maadhiri postai paaththuttu, oru statutory warning poda solluvaanga, on top of your blog, on cigarette smoking. (Reading a blog with cigarette smoking is injurious to health):-)

srividya said...

touching..!
anniyan la varume..:)

Shruti said...

>>Tavish
May be :), Cos I want my readers to empathize :)... Everyone have experiences on same subject :P

Yeah, for a friend I can relax my copyright rules! You are granted permission to use it :P :D

Shruti said...

>>Shas
Is it!?

Shruti said...

>>Rammm
U too on the list? Well, Such a post is on its way :) You will see a different post from me for sure :)

Aaha, 7G rainbow colony ah! Nan apdillam yosikalaye! Ungalkulam yepdi ipdi thonarthu!

Reading a blog with cigarette smoking is injurious to health
LOL rammm!! Nakkal romba jaasthi :P

Shruti said...

>>Sri
Avvvvv... yepdilam kelaparanggaya!

The West Wind said...

Amazing.. lovely.. words fall short tp describe the magic u have craeated!! I think a letter like this is every girl's dream.

Shruti said...

>>West wind
Hi :)
Hey thanks a bunch ^_^
Obviously it will a dream of every girl! Hope guys understand after reading this :P

Tavish Chadha said...

well i have frnd who went thru the exact same thing, untill i forced him to go tell the girl he liked everything... so I can empathize with the character of this story... :)

Shruti said...

>>Tavish
U forced ur friend eh? You should have forced the story's hero so that I would not have written this! :D :P

Tavish Chadha said...

hehe sure... tell him to get in touch with me :P

Shruti said...

>>Tavish
He told, it will be HIS pleasure

Bala said...

Very emotional it is Shruti!!!

You have really mastered the art of making people feel by your writing!!

Keep going!!

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