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Saturday, August 7, 2010

GoodBye...

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 13; the thirteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

8.50 Am, Assistant Commisioner's Home:



It was not the usual day for Assistant Commissioner Sukhdev Varma. It is the day every Indian soul was waiting for. JUDEMENT DAY - wondering what for? For the criminal, mastermind behind the worst bomb blast India has ever witnessed. "Get me that file saakshi", commanded Varma who was digging his laptop for the case details, nuances and the details of the witnesses to be examined today. 'Tinnggggg....Tinnggggggggg' cuckooed the wall clock 9 times. Varma eyed the clock by sipping the last few drops of his coffee.



8.51 Am, Thakeyur-e-Taiba's Headquarters:



"Amjad, kahan hai aap Idhar aao. Remote do Wajid. Mujhe seedha prasaran dekhna tha". Wajid who was seeing the film gave the remote to Wasim Khan, Assistant Leader of Thakeur-e-Taiba and eyed the time. It read 8.53Am. "Wasim baai, the hearing won't start soon. Don't forget its India" muttered Wajid with a wicked grin. Wasim looked angrily at him and shot back, "Chup Idiot. This is the case the entire country was waiting for and they are going to bring our chief to the court today. We will know his fate today. You don't seem to have even the slightest of tension. Chalo yehan se..ganda fellow.. "



9.02 Am, Supreme Court - Justice Chamber:



Lights, recorders, Mikes were found everywhere. Media was in full charge. Some gathered in front of the Judge's chamber to get a few tidbits from the justice's mouth. But Mohammed Ibrahim and Venkatakrishnan Raghavan the two judges who were handling this sensitive case were advised by ACP Varma not to get out. They both were discussing the vital points. That was when they heard the sudden commotion in the corridor. The police guards outside the room closed the room immediately and soon some of them even rushed into the chamber. Raghavan managed to ask one of the guard, "What happened? Any problem". He stopped and replied shortly, "They are bringing Aatif Khan and Ismail Rehman". Raghavan and Mohammed saw each other and smiled themselves. It was a routine procedure they do when a terrorist is brought to court.



9.18Am, Supreme Court - Trial Room:



ACP's car rushed in and Varma went straight to Judge's Chamber. While going he saw Rajkumar Pelleta, witness for the day. He escorted the two judges to the trial room. It was bustling with people spread all over the room. Some were hanging from the doors to get a glimpse of the most wanted terrorist. After the initial procession and formality, the criminals were brought into the room.



When both of them came, some shouted, some cried, some tried barging in. Policemen really had a tough time in managing the mob. "Try to control all your emotions. We are here for the final judgement to be given for the accused today. So try to calm yourselves", shouted Varma. The crowd tried to calm after hearing his power packed voice. Aatif and Ismail saw each other. Ismail eyed Varma and everyone assembled there with a vengeful gaze. Aatif pressed his hand on Ismail's shoulder and asked him to be calm.



Mohammed summoned Rajkumar to assemble and tell his part of story. Rajkumar was struggling with his hearing aid at one end of the room. Nobody sat near him. May be it was because of the scary look he had. With a half burnt face, with a trembling hands, he tried fixing it. He adjusted his specs a million times. He never heard what the judges spoke. He was in his own paradise. It was then a hand touched his shoulders. Rajkumar lifted his head slowly to face the smiling face of Sukhdev Varma. Varma took his hand in his and motioned him towards the witness stand.



"Am sorry. Never heard that you called me here. I lost my hearing ability during the blast 10 years ago. Varma sir told me that I should tell what happened on that fateful day. I am 75 years old then. I came to...no, went CST on that fateful day. It was my daughter's 25th wedding day and my grand daughter's wedding day. We all went to the station to bid farewell to her. She was holding her newly wed husband's hand. She came near me, bent down to get blessing along with the groom. It was then I heard the shot. My white shirt became red in a minute and my daughter fell to my feet with a hole in her head. My son-in-law went near this short, stout guy Ismail I suppose and gave a slap, but the next minute he was floored with the same. My grand daughter was shell shocked. Her husband dragged her and tried to flee away. I shouted at them to come back to me near the exit. But they went near the other side and only then I saw many rushing near that gate. But all friends of this guy blocked the way and stopped them from escaping. They caught hold of my grand daughter......", and he started crying uncontrollably. Judges asked the guard to give him water and asked him to sit on a chair. Because he cannot stand for a long time.

Ismail smirked on seeing his condition. After refreshing for few minutes, Rajkumar adjusted his spectacles and continued, "They shot randomly at everyone and everyone died on the spot. Some were writhing on floor. My grand daughter asked for water. I couldn't go there. I was made helpless. Every relative in my family died on the spot. That was when I started cursing the God. Then there was a heavy blast. I closed my ears with hands after that dreadful sound. I felt blood trickling down my ears and my face was burning like hell. I dozed off and when I opened my eyes Varma sir was near me. He was an Inspector then I guess. It was through him I came to know that Ismail the !@#$%^ &*()$%^ has been caught with a few injuries and was admitted in the same hospital. I rushed to see him. But I couldn't move. It was then I came to know one of my leg had been amputated. In this old age, with no relative to depend on, I was orphaned at that age. But doctors planned to fix artificial leg.". He stopped there and eyed Aatif and Ismail. Then he turned to Ibrahim and asked, "Can I ask speak with him?". Varma tried telling something in between. But Raghavan let Rajkumar to speak with him. Rajkumar spoke, "Aatif, you are the oldest among the two. Can I ask you something?". Ismail blurted out, "You Idiot shut the hell up. How the hell will you tell that you saw me with your blind eyes". 'SLAPPPPP'!!! Ismail's eyes failed to catch something with that ear tearing slap. It was Aatif. Everybody was stunned to see such a reaction and he asked Rajkumar to continue. Rajkumar continued, "Tell me, How old are you?? 20 years younger to me? Do you have a family? Batao..". Aatif cleared his throat for the very first time. Varma was shocked, because when Aatif was in the police custody too, never opened his mouth. He muttered, "Yes. I have 2 daughters and a son.". Rajkumar let out a smile and asked, "what you would've done if you had seen your daughter in that railway station?". Aatif kept his mouth shut. That explained things to everyone, Rajkumar smiled to himself and went away from that place.



10.50Am, Supreme Court - Trial Room:



Ibrahim and Raghavan discussed for a few moments and turned to Aatif and Islam to ask their comments. Ismail wanted to shout. But fearing another slap, he kept mum. Aatif's head hung low for most of the time. He eyed everyone in the room for the last time and nodded his head in the opposite way. Ibrahim continued, "Ismail was caught red-handed by Varma in CST. Aatif was caught in New-Delhi airport few years after their group accepted committing this. After examining all the witnesses thoroughly, we hereby sentence both of them to be hanged till death.". Aatif's eyes moistened and he heard everybody's sigh of relief. Some cursed them still. Rajkumar was wiping off the tears and was seen speaking to a photo, probably a family photo.



Aatif cleared his throat for the second time and told, "Sir, could you please help me? I want to speak to all of you and 00002rk1 also to all my group members.". Raghavan consulted the CJI and decided to provide the chance to Aatif. When all the media persons rushed into the room, Varma caught hold of Aatif. When everybody started asking questions, he silenced everybody by waving his hand.

"Let me speak please. Am sorry for everything. Allah won't forgive me for what I have done. We did all this for Kashmir. But after being in jail for 3 years, this long time gave a inner gyaan to me. I want to tell Wasim something. Baai, lets leave all this. We certainly don't need a red Kashmir. Do we need? Lets dissolve our group and lets not fight anymore. I know you are seeing this live telecast. To all the Indians, I am asking an apology now. This doesn't mean that the judges are going to change the verdict. You are witnessing a changed Aatif. Am so sorry Rajkumar. Indeed I feel bad for what we have done to your wonderful, happy family. And many others. Goodbye Wasim, Goodbye Kashmir, Goodbye India. We will not disturb you anymore and you won't see any blood. Goodbye everyone". Entire country was stunned at Aatif's confession. It has never happened in India's history and will never happen. Varma and everybody saw Aatif with due respect. He was taken to the van. Rajkumar waved his hands to Aatif.

Goodbye Aatif (To the real human in you).


The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

P.S: This is just a fiction. Was not written to hurt anyone.

With Love,



SIGNATURE-BLOG

39 comments:

Vinay Leo R. said...

ur regaining the old touch :) could see shades of u in it.. but u've done better long fictions before da.

i'm of course, biased toward the 55 fictions of urs.. still... i felt somethin missing from the Anami of yore..

i guess this was a small obstacle that u just stumbled over.. bounce back soon, stay in writing touch now ok?! :)

Vivek said...

HI SRUTI,

WOW THATS ..A NICE MASTERPIECE ...HATS OFF TO YOUR IMAGINATION
ITS @ ITS BEST :)

WONDERFUL...


KEEP IT UP..

ALL THE BEST..FOR BAT!
TAKE CARE
KS:)

RHYTHM AND RHYME said...

Oodles of imagery. I loved this.

Yvonne.

Rajlakshmi said...

a good story... well narrated...
if only reality also ended like this...
well penned.

Chetan Maheshwari said...

good
very well written, with a perfect ending

Harsha Chittar said...

Hi Shruthi,
Long time, How u've been. Good to see this fiction. There has been a huge improvement from what I had read last time around. Keep them coming, all the best to you.

Venky said...

First time visited your blog. Looks like there is whole lotta stuff to read. Liked the colour and feel of your blog. Will read this post patiently and comment on it..

mayur said...

You look like an optimist to the core :) How I wish your thoughts translate into reality...only the apology part though ;) (don't want to see another bomb blast)
However, considering the present situation in Kashmir...this looks like a Utopian dream.

I liked the overall flow of the story and the intent as well.

I found some typos in the text which can be fixed after one more round of editing. Just to point out a few (words in bracket either need to be deleted/added/modified)

1. The crowd tried to calm (down) after hearing his power packed voice

2. With a half burnt face, with (a) trembling hands

3. They caught hold of my grand daughter......", and (s)he started crying uncontrollably

4. for a few moments and turned to Aatif and Islam (Ismail)

All the best for BAT!!!

Shruti said...

>>Leo
Reagaining my composure is the most difficult thing for me..
Thanks anyways!

Shruti said...

>>Vivek
Yaar, thanks..is this a Masterpiece? I dunno :)

Shruti said...

>>Yvonne
Thanks a bunch for your comment! Hope u r doing well :)

Shruti said...

>>Rajlakshmi
Wanted this to be a reality, hence penned it :)

Shruti said...

>>Cheten
Thanks re :)

Shruti said...

>>Harsha
Nice to see you back in my blog again! Yeah, when time changes, the amateurishness reduces.. but still am an amateur, wishing to be an expert like u one day :)
Thanks

Shruti said...

>>Venky
Wish to get you back on my blog again.. sure u have a lot 2 read with 100+ posts :)

Shruti said...

>>Mayur
LOL, noone will like a bomb blast :)
But I wrote this at the last minute, hence so many typos.. Little bit lazy am! Will try 2 rectify soon:)
Thanks a bunch for pointing it out..

Hope to see u back again :)

Rocksa said...

Someone's bouncing back eh? ;) :) Glad to see you write despite all that you've on your plate currently! Good job girlie! :)

Well as for the story, I'd say it's well written.Having said that, I'd also say your best is yet to come :) I felt it has been done in a hurry and I know why :) The plot is good though :)

Do you really think the jehadis will ever be enlightened with all the gyaan? How I wish! It is as difficult as Osama Bin Laden becoming the President of US!

Anyways well attempted :) Do visit my page if time permits! Cheers! ATB with BAT :)

Nir said...

ah.. hope...
the quintessential human delusion

Anonymous said...

Well narrated stoy with perfect message at the end !! All the best for Batom

Harini said...

This piece is brilliant. It reminded me why i actually started to follow your blog.

Anonymous said...

Liked the new blog template :D
The story is quite nice but I have seen better works from you ...I know you'll get back to your old form soon...

Anonymous said...

Loved your new template :) It's really classy.. Nice story girl but I agree it was not your best.. I expected more from you :D but since you have lost touch, I am sure after a few more, you will back in form.. dont stop writing :)

Nithin RS said...

This started well and reminded me of mumbai attacks. But it suddenly had an unexpected turn and ending was rather abrupt.Well, i liked the early part. But the end part, left me wondering, why you chose to make your characters to say goodbye to a sensitive dream. May be cos of the sensitive issue that we have been facing and the situation in the valley is still hostile, i wasn't able to connect myself with the climax. Apart from that, i liked this one.

S said...

I know you are back, and for good! I still miss the sharpness in your post!

Good byes can never be so good, I wish the Aatif wakes up in every blood sucker out there!

PS - I like your new template better. See you soon and take care! :)

Shruti said...

>>Raksha,
Yaar raksha, u r the one who undrstnds me well all times...bouncing back??got free these two weekends, so back to back! surprised to see ppl still remember my blog :)

Shruti said...

>>Worthless Rantings
welcome 2 hits and misses..

Obviously,...

Shruti said...

>>Binzy
welcome 2 hits and misses..
Thanks a ton and same 2 u :)

Shruti said...

>>Harini
Yaar, how r u :)
ur comment made me blush...
Thanks a ton

Shruti said...

>>Dhiman
Welcome back :)
Yeah, this is not my best :)
But lost the touch in writing..may take few posts 2 get back to my so called old form :)

Someone is Special said...

Lovely post, I liked the way it ended.. Great...

All The Best for BAT 13.

gmsaravana - Goodbye

Yours Frendly,
Someone Is Special

Anonymous said...

Hey shruti.. I dont know how I went back to your 100th post :D I thought you had initially celebrated 50th and now it was 100th and commented again :P only later realised that it was an old post.. hehehe.. so silly of me :)

Keerthi Purushothaman said...

It's like one of those soaps were the evil guys have a change of mind in the last episode and the hero magnanimously forgives them! Aren't jihadis brain-washed enough not to be shattered by an old man's tale?

Still, I like the core idea of the post. A change of their heart is what we all wish for. :)

All the best!

Gauri said...

Very nice post. Its too good to be true but wish it does come true one day!

ATB for BAT13
Gkam - Goodbye

Vee said...

First thing - your blog looks cool, the template and the feel i love it. I'm always curious how people conceive ideas and write such huge posts with attention to lots of detail. And you amaze me with your post in this regard. I hope the wish in your post comes true.

~Vee...

Shilpa Garg said...

Good to see you back in action.
All the best for BAT-13!
Cheers :)

Nethra said...

That was brilliant. Very well narrated...you haven't overdone it. I have seen similar stories on other blogs but quite exaggerated. It was a very good read. :)

aayanman said...

Lovely, it s nice to read your story after such a long time...must keep churning out wonderful stuff.

Unknown said...

Hey Shruti,

Long time since I checked your blog.. however got to have a good read at this post...

narration is great as usual... but something is missing..

hope u write more n more!!!

Unknown said...

Gud one shruti!!

Not much a story line in it... however ur excellent narration made the whole post beautiful..

That too narrating the beauty of a girl by another girl is too difficult.. but u have done it..

As usual, an unexpected end with ur style!!

Keep writing!!!

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