Monday, October 19, 2009

55 Fiction - #19

Hi :)
Understand what is 55Fiction!? 55 Fiction is a form of micro fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.Most 55 Fiction works are dramatized so as to get the effect in limited time.

480px-speed_limit_55_signsvg

THEIR WORLD..

Near the school....0511-0902-1116-1963_Dad_Seeing_His_Daughter_Off_to_School_clipart_image
The little kids reach school pampered by their parents.
The musician at the entrance was enjoying himself by playing beetle's tunes.
In the corner park, lovers were passionately kissing each other.
Outside a beggar sighed on seeing his collection.
Within a flash, their world was gone. An explosion dismantled everything.

This is dedicated to all those who lost their lives in bomb blast in the recent years and also to the family members who lost their dear ones

How is this? Drop a comment and let me know what you feel after reading this!

With Love,

Shruti-Logo

Image Courtesy : Google Images

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62 comments:

  1. Pramoda MeduriOctober 19, 2009 at 10:55 PM

    hayyayo..:(..

    so sad, but these days such scenes are becoming very near..:(..

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  2. AnonymousOctober 19, 2009 at 10:59 PM

    Gud one Shruthi...
    Another unexpected ending...
    keep it up girl!!!

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  3. UnknownOctober 19, 2009 at 11:05 PM

    Good one shruthi..was nice... but I feel like something is missing... could have been better...

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  4. ShrutiOctober 19, 2009 at 11:11 PM

    @Prams
    yes! Blast everywhere!!

    Thanks :)

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  5. ShrutiOctober 19, 2009 at 11:11 PM

    @Bala
    Hope u got that exact feeling in this!
    Thanks yaar!

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  6. ShrutiOctober 19, 2009 at 11:12 PM

    @SHankar!
    Thanks! But what is missing?!

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  7. KayOctober 19, 2009 at 11:13 PM

    huh? but why? sad

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  8. ShrutiOctober 19, 2009 at 11:20 PM

    @Kay
    why? I don understand..yes its sad! Losing so many lives!

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  9. AnonymousOctober 19, 2009 at 11:31 PM

    good one girl.. sadly these things are becoming so common these days :( :(

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  10. ShrutiOctober 19, 2009 at 11:35 PM

    @Avada
    True yaar! Losing lives and giving away dear ones to these tragic incidents is horrible!

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  11. Amit Kumar SinghOctober 19, 2009 at 11:37 PM

    It's very Nice one Shruti..

    How Vulnerable our life is!!


    Cheers!!

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  12. ShrutiOctober 19, 2009 at 11:39 PM

    @Amit
    very true yaar! We dunno what ll happen the next second

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  13. RAMOctober 19, 2009 at 11:49 PM

    Hmmm thats nice. Though the scene contains 55 words, the message it carries is something very important and vital. Nice that your blogs are stating the social evils. Keep blogging.

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  14. ShrutiOctober 19, 2009 at 11:51 PM

    @Ram
    thanks buddy!

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  15. VishnuOctober 20, 2009 at 12:02 AM

    okie... not good but not bad too.. lacked something..

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  16. The AspirantOctober 20, 2009 at 12:38 AM

    great yaar........
    may be it can b little more descriptive bt still hs great depth..

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  17. NehaOctober 20, 2009 at 1:22 AM

    i got goose bumps when I read the last line...Do I need to say more?

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  18. SoinOctober 20, 2009 at 2:06 AM

    one of the most cheerful stuff u have written.. i mean a kid listening to music,couple kissing.. all happy.. and they just die instantly.. so beautiful..but somehow i guess that was not meant when this was written..free

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  19. ChatterboxOctober 20, 2009 at 2:25 AM

    very nice!
    Your story portrays how unpredictable and unsafe life has become.
    Let's live our lives to the fullest every moment, we never know when all these small moments of joy and goodness be lost forever.

    Cheers!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. UnknownOctober 20, 2009 at 6:41 AM

    hmmm... can u change this - "The little kids reaches school pampered " it should be "The little kids reach school pampered " ..
    Also I did not get why the begger sighed on seeing the children??

    The ending twist is nice... but can u change "flattened everything" to something else?? sorry :) too many suggestions.. just wrote what i felt. loved ur earlier 55er though :)

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  21. AnonymousOctober 20, 2009 at 7:25 AM

    so much in so few words..
    its more than amazing Shruti!!
    beautiful...

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  22. AnonymousOctober 20, 2009 at 7:25 AM

    btw I am waiting for your write up..

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  23. BK Chowla,October 20, 2009 at 8:50 AM

    Very emotionally expressed.It could be a sad day in one's life when one loses a dear one.

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  24. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:18 AM

    @Vishnu
    Lacked something in what?

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  25. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    @The aspirant
    You can't describe such things in 55Fiction! Thanks buddy!

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  26. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:20 AM

    @Neha
    Girlie that sums up everything!

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  27. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:22 AM

    @Soin
    I think you got the story line..
    They were all enjoying themselves. Suddenly the explosion shattered everything!

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  28. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:23 AM

    @Chatterbox
    True..LIVE YOUR LIFE which most of us don't do! Thanks

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  29. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:25 AM

    @Shruti
    Thanks for those advice and I changed something!
    Beggars sighed on seeing his COLLECTION and NOT CHILDREN
    Thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:25 AM

    @RSV
    Thanks buddy! U aren't trying any more 55Fictions?!why?

    ReplyDelete
  31. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:26 AM

    @RSV
    Will do it once I get time. Quite busy for some days!

    ReplyDelete
  32. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 9:26 AM

    @Chowla Ji
    yes sir :)
    Thank you for your comment!

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  33. BharathiOctober 20, 2009 at 11:03 AM

    Nice message here. Had it been like a story rather than a writeup it would have been even better.

    ReplyDelete
  34. ShrutiOctober 20, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    @Bharathi
    Thanks!
    I wanted to describe everyone's life..That's why it resembled a write up.
    May be i will improve the next time!

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  35. AnonymousOctober 20, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    I agree with Shankar, it could have been much better. The usual 'shruti-special' spark was missing in this one.


    shilpa

    ReplyDelete
  36. RHYTHM AND RHYMEOctober 20, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    Very thought provoking, how life can be gone within a second.
    A good issue excellently written.

    Yvonne.

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  37. HaRy!!October 20, 2009 at 2:59 PM

    yapaaa...how much things can change everything!! poor victims...! Simple but Powerful..kaka kaka style mathiri! :)

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  38. UnknownOctober 20, 2009 at 6:07 PM

    :) Love it! ... I'm amazed u actually took the criticism in such good spirit!! Thank you :)

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  39. Raji UOctober 20, 2009 at 6:24 PM

    You get better and better each time don't you??? good one shruts.. Nice touch!!

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  40. VishnuOctober 20, 2009 at 6:40 PM

    theriyala.. it could hav benn better..

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  41. BennyOctober 20, 2009 at 7:37 PM

    achoo..!!!sad:(each word u hav written here convey a beautiful feelin xcept for d bomb.. nice work !

    ReplyDelete
  42. tharangniOctober 20, 2009 at 8:04 PM

    (regarding the comment on my post)
    @Shruti: First off, i hope u like this blog.
    second i do miss him a litllllllle bit. mostly u can say that he misses me-well my cooking to be frank... :D

    ReplyDelete
  43. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    @Shilpa
    Oh my!! I still couldn't find the missing element!
    :)
    Will write up well!

    ReplyDelete
  44. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    @Yvonne
    very true!!

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  45. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    @Hary
    kaka kaka dialougue! Hehehhe...thanks! Aana adhu villain solre dialougue

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  46. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    @Shruti
    hey girlie, you helped to to churn this 55Fiction well!

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  47. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    @Raji
    Do you really feel this is good? I don't think so!

    ReplyDelete
  48. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 11:10 AM

    @Vishnu
    Yenakkum therila!

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  49. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    @Benny
    Thanks!

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  50. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    @THS
    Hey welcome 2 my blog!

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  51. Raji UOctober 21, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Hey I meant the way you write things!! I know this one has a very sad ending to everything.

    ReplyDelete
  52. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    @Raji
    May be...ana many told this s not my best!

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  53. lostworldOctober 21, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    Value what you have.. & make every day count .. Guess that's what such incidents ought to teach us.

    ReplyDelete
  54. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 6:23 PM

    @Lost world
    Very truly said!!!

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  55. SamadritaOctober 21, 2009 at 8:00 PM

    Nice one Shruti!
    'In the corner park, lovers were passionately kissing each other.'-
    I am sure this city is not Mumbai.Raj Thackeray and gang would never allow such a thing in the first place. :D

    ReplyDelete
  56. ShrutiOctober 21, 2009 at 8:11 PM

    @Sammy
    :P LOL!!
    Its not mumbai!! :P

    ReplyDelete
  57. Yellow TulipOctober 22, 2009 at 9:50 AM

    sadly true...n its becoming more often:(...

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  58. ShrutiOctober 22, 2009 at 11:13 AM

    @Yellow tulip
    Yes girl :(

    ReplyDelete
  59. divsiOctober 22, 2009 at 3:56 PM

    heya! m a first timer at yr blog:) this piece of fiction was awesum...:)
    its sad that bomb explosions rip apart innocent ordinary lives...well narrated!

    ReplyDelete
  60. ShrutiOctober 22, 2009 at 5:21 PM

    @Divsi
    Hey, welcome to my space!!
    Thanks for those appreciations :)

    ReplyDelete
  61. MadmanOctober 24, 2009 at 7:21 AM

    Nice one shruthi. Kalelaye avanga vela arambichitaangala kachadavelaya parkla 8 o clock galeej parties ma avanga

    ReplyDelete
  62. ShrutiOctober 24, 2009 at 11:21 PM

    @Venky
    Yes...truly galeej :P
    Thanks da :)

    ReplyDelete

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