Monday, August 17, 2009

Fifth Fifty Five Fiction


Hi friends!!

After a esthetic post about "our country", am here with another 55 fiction! This fire of '55 Fiction' has caught up soon and every blog am coming across has a line - 55 Fiction, my first attempt!! But successfully this is my fifth post in 55 fiction! Am so happy for the "Beautiful Blogger" Award i received from Shankz for these 55 fiction's!

55 Fiction is a form of micro fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.Most 55 Fiction works are dramatized so as to get the effect in limited time.

Here comes my 55 Fiction.....

STILL NIGHT

It was a cold,tempestuous night.....

He was in an urge to wrap up things..

He checked the list, holding the names of murderee's!!!

'Five down, One more to go'....

He saw VICTIM # 6!!! A Girl!!

He shot her in temple with his gun!!!!!!

She died writhing in pain....

He was beaming.....

Monitor blinked : Game Over!

smile_shadessmile_regular



Hope you liked this one.. Please do comment on this 55 fiction attempt of mine..

With Love,






Image Courtesy : GOOGLE Images

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81 comments:

  1. Indian PunditAugust 17, 2009 at 6:56 PM

    loved the twist in the end.

    Great one.

    Improving all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sri AbaieAugust 17, 2009 at 7:12 PM

    That was kool ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 7:15 PM

    @IP
    Thanks for your appreciation!

    ReplyDelete
  4. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 7:15 PM

    @Sri Abaie

    Welcome to my blog!
    Thanks for your comment!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousAugust 17, 2009 at 7:52 PM

    Hey Shruti..nice attempt. When I started reading..I thought this would be another dark story with a dark ending.. but then you played the last part beautifully. Liked the twist :)

    Thanks for visiting yet again lady. When I read that you used the word "re"..I smiled..I so often use this. :)

    P.S And now I can see that I can comment using my wordpress id. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. PradsAugust 17, 2009 at 7:53 PM

    wowwwwwwww

    nice suspense da...
    wen i read first 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be moral story.

    wen i read next 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be some murder kinda stuff

    wen i read next 2 lines , i thought its gngn to be story to hail woman

    wen i read last lines , i came to kwn its GAME "Counter strike"

    Regards,
    Prasee

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownAugust 17, 2009 at 7:54 PM

    A frank comment from my end!!!! More than the post I liked the way of presenting/writing it!!!! Gud presentation skills I shud say

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousAugust 17, 2009 at 7:55 PM

    And congrats for your first award! Celebration time. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownAugust 17, 2009 at 7:57 PM

    Would love your feedback on this post

    http://sumeetshah.blogspot.com/2009/06/for-all-those-who-are-in-hunt-of-their.html

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownAugust 17, 2009 at 9:13 PM

    I thought its gonna be a spine chilling fiction.. But atlast, it was really very cool.. Great :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. UnknownAugust 17, 2009 at 9:40 PM

    hey..it was good... nice one...except..

    the end..i dont know why...but I didnt like the ending......

    ReplyDelete
  12. pawanAugust 17, 2009 at 11:00 PM

    You didn't give the ending away, but you could change the first sentence and make it into a scene, I mean you could have written a tad more on murder!
    Liked this a straight 9/10!

    This is solid improvement!

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Abhishek BeheraAugust 17, 2009 at 11:12 PM

    hahaha! cool! brilliant! i was beginning to hate him until i read the last line!!!

    keep writing.

    p.s.: i write 55s also. have look sometime. you might like the post "sin of the midnight"

    ReplyDelete
  14. SoinAugust 17, 2009 at 11:19 PM

    well its good.but like all 55 you always know the last line is the twist or something like that..free

    ReplyDelete
  15. Amit Kumar SinghAugust 17, 2009 at 11:25 PM

    very interesting

    Twist was superb..

    gr8 improvement.. :)

    cheers!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Shilpa GargAugust 17, 2009 at 11:44 PM

    Good twist!!
    Cheers :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 11:52 PM

    @Thoughtworld
    welcome again to my space!!
    i know many will think the same way!
    GLAD THAT YOU LIKED THE ENDING!!

    're' is a common term that i use everywher!!

    Thanks for your compliments!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 11:52 PM

    @Sumeet..
    :)
    thank you so much...

    ReplyDelete
  19. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 11:53 PM

    @prasee
    hey thanks buddy...
    thanks for your constant encouragement!
    Glad that you liked this 55Fiction!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 11:54 PM

    @savi
    thanks for the visit!
    Thanks for your comments too!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 11:55 PM

    @PAWAN
    wow!!
    am sooo happy!!
    scored 9/10!!!

    thanks and surely wil discuss more drama in my next 55F!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Shashank ShekharAugust 17, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    Hey good one!
    Gaming framed very nicely. Looks so real! :)

    Shashank

    ReplyDelete
  23. ShrutiAugust 17, 2009 at 11:57 PM

    @shankz

    thanks for the visit!!

    i really don't know what to reply!
    maybe next time i can write something differnt which lives upto all of your expectations!

    ReplyDelete
  24. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 12:03 AM

    @Abhishek
    thanks for the visit!!
    am happy that you liked this post of mine!!

    will surely check your posts!

    ReplyDelete
  25. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 12:13 AM

    @Soin
    thanks for your comment!

    keep visiting!

    ReplyDelete
  26. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 12:14 AM

    @Amit
    :)
    thanks!
    and its a pleasure watching many liked ths!

    ReplyDelete
  27. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 12:15 AM

    @shilpa
    thanks for the visit

    ReplyDelete
  28. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 12:15 AM

    @shashank
    thank you so much re!

    ReplyDelete
  29. VedaAugust 18, 2009 at 8:35 AM

    haha...good one! but i was wondering how anyone would writher in pain when shot in the temple! Then read the last line :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousAugust 18, 2009 at 9:21 AM

    Nice one Shruti...the end was really good:)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Musings of a lonely travelerAugust 18, 2009 at 9:24 AM

    Shruti!

    In boxing, the trainers would say the Boxers, "Always finish with a punch". You got it right, Shruti. Good read :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousAugust 18, 2009 at 10:28 AM

    That was an intelligent one ! the end of course !!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    @Mon
    thanks for the visit...
    am happy that you liked them!

    keep visiting!

    ReplyDelete
  34. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    @kasbian girl...
    hey gal thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    @mohammed
    thankz baai!!
    am really happy for your comments :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    @dmanji
    welcome to my blog!!
    Glad that you liked them!

    keep visiting!

    ReplyDelete
  37. RHYTHM AND RHYMEAugust 18, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    A good twist in the end. enjoyed the post very much.

    Take care.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  38. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 2:05 PM

    @yvonne
    welcome again :)
    thank you and am happy that you enjoyed this post!

    ReplyDelete
  39. PrashansaAugust 18, 2009 at 7:08 PM

    That's cool! No wonder Shankar says you are queen of 55 fiction.I totally agree with him! two :55 fictions in 3 days?! It took me 3 days to write first one!:-)

    ReplyDelete
  40. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 7:21 PM

    @Pra
    hey am blushing yaar!! It happens just like that!!
    And glad that you are here,commenting on my scribblings!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Chetan MaheshwariAugust 18, 2009 at 8:05 PM

    I was expecting something else, but you really chilled me up with videogame..
    i liked it

    ReplyDelete
  42. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 8:17 PM

    @cm
    welcome to my blog!
    Glad that you liked it!

    ReplyDelete
  43. HaRy!!August 18, 2009 at 9:27 PM

    wow..thats some damn good fiction! yu ought to write a book of 55 fictions! :) cya..keep visitin

    H a R y

    ReplyDelete
  44. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 9:34 PM

    @hary
    welcome to my blog!!
    Thanks for your wondrous comments!
    glad that you liked t!!
    Btw,will think about writing a book of 55 Fictions soon :D

    keep visiting!

    ReplyDelete
  45. BharathiAugust 18, 2009 at 9:58 PM

    Good one again. The twist is quite interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  46. sreejiAugust 18, 2009 at 10:12 PM

    wow!! ur doing a gr8 job.... i liked the finishing touch.. it was kool.......

    ReplyDelete
  47. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 10:25 PM

    @Bharathi
    Thank you so much for the comment!

    ReplyDelete
  48. ShrutiAugust 18, 2009 at 10:26 PM

    @sreejith
    hey sreejith,
    welcome to my blog!!
    Atlast visited... thanks for your valuable comments!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. AnonymousAugust 18, 2009 at 11:58 PM

    Cool story. Good twist. You have got the hang of 55Fiction! Envy you, not succeeded so far myself.

    In the best traditions of those who can't do themselves and so become critics, I submit... ;-)

    /* boring stuff beginz...
    Fewer exclamation marks please, unless you intended the punctuation to reflect the talk-style of today's young uns.

    'Victims' would do better than a derived word, IMHO.

    ...endz zee boring stuff! */

    ReplyDelete
  50. Lakshmi RajanAugust 19, 2009 at 8:16 AM

    Light hearted 55 F ! Goood ! :)

    Mr.R
    www.gingerchai.com

    ReplyDelete
  51. ShrutiAugust 19, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    @thebutterflydiaries
    thanks for the visit!
    I was thinking why nobody is criticizing this 55fiction!!

    thanks and surly will follow these in my next 55fiction!
    thanks!!!

    ReplyDelete
  52. ShrutiAugust 19, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    @Mr.R
    thank you for commenting!!

    ReplyDelete
  53. UnknownAugust 19, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    gr8 da..unexpected ending!!

    ReplyDelete
  54. ShrutiAugust 19, 2009 at 3:58 PM

    @Sri
    thank you so much da :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. Indian PunditAugust 19, 2009 at 5:14 PM

    Hi Shruti

    Check out my blog

    An award is waiting for you.

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  56. pawanAugust 19, 2009 at 7:29 PM

    Shruti, do check my blog. I have posted the sequel!

    ReplyDelete
  57. ShrutiAugust 19, 2009 at 8:03 PM

    @IP
    Thanks re!

    ReplyDelete
  58. ShrutiAugust 19, 2009 at 8:03 PM

    @pawan
    will surely check yaar!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Siddhesh KabeAugust 19, 2009 at 9:58 PM

    heh heh heh...

    reminds me of GTA...:D

    nice post haan...

    P.s. GTA is a computer game.:D

    ReplyDelete
  60. ShrutiAugust 19, 2009 at 10:07 PM

    @Sid
    Thanks for the visit..

    ReplyDelete
  61. Sh@sAugust 20, 2009 at 2:24 AM

    Hey! a kewl one. Keep it up.
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  62. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 9:28 AM

    @shas
    thanks yaar!!

    ReplyDelete
  63. Vipul GroverAugust 20, 2009 at 5:25 PM

    A nice one thr.. i thot yt anothr murder n blood 55 fiction.. bt it trnd out 2 b diffrnt :)

    ReplyDelete
  64. AnonymousAugust 20, 2009 at 5:44 PM

    Loved the Roald Dahl kind of twist in the end:)
    good work!

    ReplyDelete
  65. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 6:12 PM

    @Vipul
    thanks yar!
    Everyone will expect it to be a horrid thing!

    Keep visiting!

    ReplyDelete
  66. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 6:13 PM

    @calvy
    welcome to my blog!

    Thanks for your comments!

    ReplyDelete
  67. MadmanAugust 20, 2009 at 7:01 PM

    nice one shruthi, got me by surprise i thought it was some rip off of ghajini hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  68. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 7:06 PM

    @venky
    hehehehe :D
    saw that scene where the villain hit asin and surya before i wrote this post!
    Converted it into Video game :P

    ReplyDelete
  69. MadmanAugust 20, 2009 at 7:39 PM

    so i guessed it right. yesssssssss

    ReplyDelete
  70. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 9:15 PM

    @venky..
    but copyrights reserved with me!!!
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  71. PramatheshAugust 20, 2009 at 10:19 PM

    Nice ending! LOL....

    ReplyDelete
  72. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 10:38 PM

    @pramathesh
    Lolzzzz to you too!!

    ReplyDelete
  73. UnknownAugust 20, 2009 at 10:41 PM

    Check out my new post!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  74. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 10:44 PM

    @sumeet
    will check re

    ReplyDelete
  75. AnonymousAugust 20, 2009 at 10:45 PM

    You are a good 55-fiction writer.
    Enjoyed all 5 of them!

    ReplyDelete
  76. ShrutiAugust 20, 2009 at 11:26 PM

    @sreya
    hey thanks for the visit!!!
    am glad that you enjoyed my writings!

    ReplyDelete
  77. Sundari VenkatramanAugust 22, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    that's cool. I wish i could write one too!

    ReplyDelete
  78. ShrutiAugust 22, 2009 at 9:46 PM

    @sundari
    thank you!!
    Jus try it out!!

    ReplyDelete
  79. AnonymousAugust 29, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    hi....good one
    you are really different with ur writing

    continue ur good work

    ReplyDelete
  80. AnonymousOctober 15, 2009 at 4:28 PM

    Cool post!!
    Twist with a techie feel!

    ReplyDelete
  81. ShrutiOctober 15, 2009 at 8:50 PM

    @Ash
    Hey welcome to my blog and thanks a ton for ur appreciation!

    @Bala
    Hey thanks :)

    ReplyDelete

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